This Poem was Submitted By: Timothy Holyoake On Date: 2005-06-08 20:21:01 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Sole to Soul

You haven’t stepped in dog shit, as your face seems to declare. I can tell the sole of your shoe is quite clean, for I can see it clearly from here. Yet you look at me that way, as you pass me by. A disgrace you say, a sore in the public eye. You don’t know my name, but you know where to find me.  I could tell you why I sit upon the street, a shadow of the life I left behind me, Now hungry, weak and always tried, I am ever so slightly broken. But you’ll never know if I’ll mend,  as we have never spoken. On days with the strength to only mutter Got any spare change, brother? I speak to the wingtips, the pumps and the loafers. on and on you march so close to the gutter. I am your father, I am your son,  Care for me for I am you. Love me for I am. 

Copyright © June 2005 Timothy Holyoake


This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-07-01 15:20:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88372
Timothy: This poem gets right down to the important stuff in life. Your form is flawless. The message is what blows me away. You get to it immediately. Beginning with your title, you pull the reader in, inexorably, to face what is often ignored to denied or repressed. The ugliness of human behavior towards our fellow beings. It is a vision from the standpoint of someone who has nothing left to lose. And yet, with a small act, we could, with little effort, extend a bit of dignity and kindness to him and others in like situations. Easily, with reversals in fortunes, or unexpected illness any of us could trade places with this man. We keep that thought back in our minds, as it is, IMO, the reason we avoid contact. Perhaps we know how close we may be to living as he does. Perhaps there is even a sense of contagion in the recognition of this fellow being’s estate. That’s why I think that this poem does important work. If only a few are moved to look with different eyes, with an expression that does not give the impression that we have ‘stepped in dog shit’ much good can be accomplished. Simply from the writing and the reading of your words. Compassion is the one thing that costs nothing and means everything. You don’t know my name, but you know where to find me. I could tell you why I sit upon the street, a shadow of the life I left behind me, An example of the well-written poem above. Metered, rhymed, the pace exactly right. Formatting such that each line is easily read with one breath. Dialogue words authentic. The question posed to the reader – would you, reader, wish to know the name of this man? Would you listen to a fragment of his story? It is in the telling and the listening to one another’s stories that healing is to be found, IMO. You allow us to pause here and consider. So small a moment to spare. “I am ever so slightly broken.” So poignant and evocatively stated! Understatement makes this all the more powerful. But you’ll never know if I’ll mend, as we have never spoken. It'll be hard for readers to walk along as oblivious as before. Not that we are hard-hearted, but we surround ourselves with a bubble, semi-transparent, placed there for protection. Maybe not much gets in or out, but it is our bubble. You show us that it might be better to let the bubble drift away, and look at what is before us. Perhaps another being, feeling as keenly as we feel about our needs, but none of his are met. On days with the strength to only mutter Got any spare change, brother? I speak to the wingtips, the pumps and the loafers. on and on you march so close to the gutter. The specificity of the three kinds of shoes gives this stanza an extra punch. Which of those shoes do we wear? Or are they running shoes, with which we can more quickly outpace our fallen brother? I defy anyone to read this and not be moved. regardless of the shoes worn this day or others. I am your father, I am your son, Care for me for I am you. Love me for I am. You completely pull out all of the stops in these last lines, by showing us the identity of the man. You ask nothing, but everything. All that is truly important, is here in those last four lines. We needed the preparation of the entire poem to arrive, at last, at where we need to be, always. Magnificently done. Bravo!! Kudos for a heart-filled work of significance, once more. Great stuff! All my best, Joanne


This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-06-22 15:46:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Hi Timothy, I have not read any of your work until now but I am gald I scrolled to the bottom of my list and found this one. It is very well written and the rhyme is wonderful..each line flowing to the next without seeming forced just for the sake of the rhyme. You are writing about a subject that most people in today's world try to ignore...but homelessness remains one of our worst problems and one of the most devastating. You have done a wonderful job in describing just how devastating it is to the person who is experiencing it. Before I retired I worked in the medical profession for many years...27 of those years were spent in a hospital and I interviewed hundereds of homeless victims and each time my heart went out to them. They all had a story to tell and some were gut wrenching. Of course there were those that were drug seeking or said they were menace to themselves or others just to get a warm bed and meals for 72 hours (the allowed time to determine if a patient has a mental problem) but for the most part they were homeless due to situations beyond their contriol. I like the way you wrote this piece in the first person...it is very powerful and delivers an important message. I think these people are shunned by society because of fear and the refusal, of most, to try and understand their plight. I especially like your last lines....I am your father, I am your son, care for me for I am you. Love me for I am. One of the best endings to a poem that I have read in awhile...very well done and should do excellent in the contest this month. I hope to read more of your work soon. Peace...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2005-06-20 19:43:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.45455
This is a beautiful, but sad poem. it calls each of us out to recognize the valuable life in every being. The imagery is impeccable, and you convey the story clearly. I am reminded of the many homeless i see around town every day, and that longing in my soul to reach out to them. For it could be just as easy for me to be walking in their soles. Thank you so much for posting this...great work. Only one editing note... tried should read tired? just a thought. Mandie
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rebecca B. Whited On Date: 2005-06-10 18:55:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Timothy, This poem really speaks of brotherly love that should be shown to all. Never knowing how close successful people walk to the 'gutters' of the street...I like that analogy; we all are but one footfall away from the anguish and despair that the homeless face everyday. Our church has a program that clothes and feeds the homeless twice a month [doesn't seem like enough, does it? BUT, the load of the program is shared with other churches in the area, so it is more often than that] and it is interesting to hear the stories of the people who have fallen on bad times. The sad part about it is that some may never rise up from the anguish and despair. These lines are very profound; we should all take heed of your message: "You don?t know my name, but you know where to find me. I could tell you why I sit upon the street, a shadow of the life I left behind me, Now hungry, weak and always tried, I am ever so slightly broken. But you?ll never know if I?ll mend, as we have never spoken." Thanks for the posting of this poem with its all important message; well done. I enjoyed the read, although my heart is pained because of the plight of the homeless. Later, Beck
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-06-09 10:57:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Timothy: This is a very well written powerful piece. You make us all keenly aware of the people we often try to pretend do not exist. Your statements: You don’t know my name, but you know where to find me. I could tell you why I sit upon the street, a shadow of the life I left behind me, Now hungry, weak and always tried, I am ever so slightly broken. But you’ll never know if I’ll mend, as we have never spoken how often humanity sweeps aside that which assailes their senses and I am your father, I am your son, Care for me for I am you. Love me for I am. how in our neglect that these people we find so distasteful are as you stated, are father, son and possibly even one's self. Your work flows, an easy read and a strong comment on social conciousness. Thank you. Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-06-09 06:49:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
For all those who are homeless, alone in the world, with no place to find shelter from the elements....... Powerful piece poet, straight from the heart and soul.......and that I mean from my own soul......It matters not where one lives we find homeless people everywhere and from all walks of life.....indeed they are shunned upon by many but there are still a few who do reach out, touch and hope that touch meant something good for a little while........it must be hard to find oneself in that position sole to soul.. I am your father, I am your son, Care for me for I am you. Love me for I am. ..... Goo structure, word flow, emotionally packed from the readers view.....images of more then one homeless person fall before my eyes, sitting there along the roadside or perhaps in his little space called home.....reaching out hoping to find enough change this day to perhaps buy more then a cup of hot water to add making soup........oh the thought of it being my father, brother, or even mother and sister tears at my heart but I know it is always a possibility. Care for me for I am you.........Love me for I am........perhaps the who is missing in the last sentence but then again perhaps it is just fine........God's name in some points is I AM........and perhaps this is the Lord reaching out to you as a human being........ Billy was a homeless person......Billy had many problems among which drugs and alcohol played a big part......he lived in the woods with other homeless people and they always found money for their needs.....one day Billy got too high and murdered another homeless person and today he sits awaiting the judgment of the court on whether he should face trial or not....Billy is not only homeless but a 'slow' person who was in the system..once more the system failed to help this man.......and the one who died leaving a family behind as well...........this poem is an eye opener as well as the truth.....thank you for posting, for reaching out to others and I pray many will take the time to stop by and read this, see the images you created, feel the pain, sorrow and loss but still the hope is always there......God Bless, Claire
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