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This Poem was Submitted By: Joyce P. Hale On Date: 2005-07-12 12:01:15 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Sonnet to Life

The world may join in sorrow true for hate and pain that never ends. And truly none can make amends for what the mean and cruel do. Those who believe in a God will pray; those who don't will rave and rant. But all in all it seems we can't keep heartbreak from our way and day. We each must find our way to cope and see the beauty of the earth. Look at the bigger, wider scope, fill up your days with love and mirth. What would life be without our hope, what would this earthly world be worth?

Additional Notes:
A sonnet written in the rhythm of abba abba cdcdcd.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-07-15 22:10:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.70588
Hi Joyce, Well my friend I'm not to much on what makes up a sonnet and what doesn't so I can't make comment on that. However, your statements make a social commentary which is strong. Questions asked, and in the fini, answered. Since I can't offer any suggestions as to better this work I'll just say thank you for this offering and hope is stirs those who read to a higher social conciousness. Well done. Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-07-15 19:47:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76316
Beautifully written poet, I have never tried to do a sonnet........I just thank God when something worthwhile comes my way.........good structure, word flow, rhyme is superb......such a nice read filled with images, feelings, emotions....... I honestly believe that those who walk with God though they have the same choices , problems, decisions to make concerning life with all of its sadness and happy moments as well have a better chance of seeing the world in a different light..........would it not be nice if we were able to go back in time before all these war items became available, a time when planting and harvesting your own food was the best, sharing with your family, friends, when families were just that 'families' when mom/dad/grampa and gramma might have all lived in the same home, shared the same responsibilities thus relieving some of the pressure of every day life.........it must have been great to have your grandparents around more then they are now.... today life is so fast lived....one does not take time to relax, enjoy the things that are 'freely ' given.... I believe without hope we would all be lost souls..........forever searching for what we cannot find..... Thanks for posting and sharing this with us....looking forward to more of your work. God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-07-13 16:50:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Joyce--I applaud you and those that write the not so easy (14 lines w/eight syllables per each-including a rhyme scheme, which makes sense) fixed forms of sonnets. This is a great positive story, told in plain down to earth language with a subtle, but pious (not preachy) slant. The entire poem covers a gambit of "Life" issues, but the last two lines capture (for me) the theme and tone of the piece best: "What would life be without our hope, what would this earthy world be worth?" Thanks for sharing this insightful post with TPL. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-07-13 14:04:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
Hi Joyce, I have only written one sonnet but long to write another, however I find them to be elusive. I think it is the rhyme scheme that throws me. Having said that, you have written a very thought provoking sonnet and the rhyming is lovely....does not seem forced just for the sake of the rhyme....'and truly none can make amends for what the neam and cruel do'...very wise words...but the sad part is it seems no one is striving to make amends in our present world....'those who believe in a God will pray; those wo don't will rave and rant'...I pondered these lines and it is obvious that those who don't pray yell the loudest with harsh words and threats to us all. Some believe in a God that we don't understand...one that they worship so blindly that they blow themselves up to prove their allegiance. What sort of religion is that? It is a mind set that the rest of the world is at a loss to understand....'we each must find our way to cope and see the beauty of the earth'....If the human could just see the beauty surrounding them and revel in it they would always know how to cope and life would not be so hard....'fill up your days with love and mirth. What would life b without our hope, what would this earthly world be worth?' Without love, hope, and our belief in God this world would be worth nothing....and as sad as that is there is more truth than fiction in those words. I really enjoyed this piece and thank you for posting it here. Blessings...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-07-13 11:10:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Great job sticking to the ebb and flow of this chosen form Joyce. I am always intrigued by sonnets and writers' ability to not only remain true to form, but to also deliver a poetically touching message. You give us a message on life here with undertones of faith, and hope and love. There is so much chaos going on in the world today, and where drug activity used to rank number 1, now terrorism and attacks have taken its place. The first stanza of this sonnet addresses some very real things in life. We can't control what others do, and you play on the good vs. evil, the religions and the nonreligious, and both of these play such a key factor in what's going on today. As far as religion is concerned, that's a misconception. Terrorists commit suicide bombings in the name of Allah, but it really has nothing to do with there God. If one would really look, the descendents of Islam are the descedents of the son Ishmael, brother to Isaac, the other son of the Christians Abraham. We have become two different people broken by culture, language and jealousy. Allah is God. The only difference is pronunciation. They're Kuran was taken from our Bible. Along the way, terrorists have become fanatics just as Christianity has its own fanatics. Christians aren't committing suicide bombings, but they are homicidal to the faith. Your first stanza stirs up all of these thoughts for me, but you also give a sense of "this is the way things are right now." Stanza to deals with readers individually, and I like that you bring out the best, the hope of today and tomorrow. In the midst of all of this chaos, we can "cope" and we can go on and live peacefully finding some joy and satisfaction in this life. This poem is so important for people right now because everyday is almost becoming fearfully unbearable to so many people. It's really sad, but thanks for offering hope and reasons in this beautiful sonnet on life. In spite all that we experience daily, there are still many, many reasons to rejoice and to be happy. Thanks for sharing this poem and provoking my thoughts. Great job. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2005-07-12 18:10:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Credible italian sonnet, nicely metered, but a little weak in the allusion and assonance one has come to expect with this form. The world may join in sorrow true for hate and pain [which] never ends And truly [true/truly too close]none can make amends for what the mean and cruel do. [mean and cruel} both mean pretty much the same thing - try for a stronger or more origicnal contrast here Those who believe in a God will pray; those who don't will rave and rant. Really? without a particular god concept people run around ranting and raving? Is this poem saying that it is not possible to be a calm, rational, secular humanist? Conversly, is it not possible to trust in a god concept and still find occasion to rant amd rave? But all in all it seems we can't keep heartbreak from our way and day. We each must find our way to cope and see the beauty of the earth. Look at the bigger, wider scope, fill up your [why the pronoun switch here?] days with love and mirth. What would life be without our hope, what would this earthly world be worth? thanks, Joyce, nice work

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-07-12 12:48:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I was wondering about that "rhythm" when I first read it. It must be challenging to write such a piece in that manner. I often wonder about "hope" and what it is. Is there a scientific fact for it? Is hope equal to prayer (of sorts)? I don't know. I can hope for a lot of things. Pray with all my heart and energy, and die not having one thing come to fruition. Am I not right? I am sure the Jews of Auschwitz had such hope and prayers, and where did it get them? Thanks for making me think this morning. A sonnet to life indeed!

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