This Poem was Submitted By: Paul R Lindenmeyer On Date: 2005-07-12 14:26:17 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Poetry Distilled
One Heart
In Search
Of All
Others |
|
Copyright © July 2005 Paul R Lindenmeyer
Additional Notes:
Condensed from a prior work.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2005-08-05 16:17:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Paul,
This tiny poem leaves much for us to ponder. The opposition of "one" to "all" stands out for me, because as poets, we seek the universal and yet must deliver it through a solo perspective. No backup vocals, no band, no applauding audience in an amphitheater. Just mind and hand, hoping to connect with some faceless other out there, and in turn to yet another, on and on. We're not happy unless we feel we can link to the whole of humanity (which is, of course, impossible but we do try).
The fact that you've gone with all capitals tells me this is a title of sorts, an identifying description or definition. I suspect the speaker then goes on to further elaborate -- at least, we can imagine so -- and am curious as to what he says.
Has the larger work ever been posted here?
Take care.
Brenda
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-07-26 16:26:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.93333
Paul:
You do an amazing job of distillation here. I am reminded of John High's revision
of some of my earlier poems -- cut, cut, cut until one has reached the bone. Wrong
metaphor, I realize, but I think you have accomplished something here by simplifying
yet leaving the beating 'heart' of this poem as more visible and palpable. Aren't
we all -- "In Search/Of All/Others" -- ? I also think that the capitalization works
very well here, especially "All." This is one to contemplate. I want to try this on
some poems of mine - to see what may happen. Anything can happen, couldn't it?
As poetry is so much more than shifting words around. This is a fine demonstration
of that principle.
Grace-ful!!
Peace,
Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-07-24 15:53:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.70000
Paul,
It's true, one searches for friends, loves, familial bonds, God, ones to work with, play with,
live with, companionship. and on and on. Noone wants ever to admit they need others. but we do.
Alot said in seven words. Good condensed work.
I think alot can be said with less words.
Enjoyable. You distilled down to the basics.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-07-15 17:00:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
Man (I say with emphasis)...how much more condensed can one get? Does this mean you're in search
of others like yourself? Or trying to find love for yourself? Or hoping to gather those like
minded to save others? Have a heart Man (I say with emphasis). Maybe not distilled? Maybe, diluted?
Thanks for this ... In such a short space you said a lot.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-07-13 13:13:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Paul--This one called to me and I had to answer (short, sweet and to the point)!
A terse mini-treatise on what all TPL scribers want for their poetics. Thanks for
sharing these profound words. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-07-13 11:01:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Put very simply and poetically Paul, this is poetry "distilled." When we take away all of the gibberish, the colloquialisms, the verbiage and such, we are left with the feelings, the emotions, the mystery of the mind that pens the poems. At the root of every poem is a piece of someone longing for someone or something else.
You are so right in the observation that you make in this short, but very necessary piece. I love the title. It's almost haiku like in that it has few words that provoke our thoughts and make us think on something profound.
Great job.
Latorial
www.latorialfaison.com
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-07-13 02:31:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
This is beautifully stated poet.......One heart in search of all others.....like the way you have capitalized all words as well.........love does make the world go round, love should fill all our hearts and bring peace to this world and all the horrors within. Thank you for posting and sharing , God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-07-12 17:11:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.70370
Paul
Your title is so appropriate. Your 2 beat meter and visual presentation of your piece is exquisite. You have used such a simple statement, simple words to describe so much. Your statement definitely supports your title, however your statement is host to so many emotions not just those seeking liaisons in a craft but in matters of the heart. Simply delightful to read and I thank you for this offering. You have shown that it is true, there is elegance in simplicity.
Lora
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