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The City's a Woman... She rises from a rumpled bed, outstretched arms above her head; rustled hair is loose and awry, sheet pushed aside with sensuous sigh. She is the dark and sullen homes on rundown streets with unwashed rooms; she is the busy suited career with cultured voice and hair austere. She is the crowded commuter train, the storefront dim and the disabled lame; the buildings tall and the streets below that teem with people who move and flow. Then when the daylight hours are done, she lets down her hair to look for fun; reddens her lips and brightens her eyes, puts on her high-heeled pumps' disguise. She moves through the bars, lifts her glass, now she's a hussy, wanton and crass; she is a woman during hours of light, but changes to female for darkness of night. The city's a woman, lovely and free, who changes her skin like the changing sea; laughing and lazy whenever she will, ready and anxious all dreams to fulfill. © Joyce P. Hale 06/05 |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-08-07 12:06:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Joyce, this is a great poem, and I love how you personify the city as woman. Poets could write many great poems personffying everything as woman (smile). It's just something about who we are that makes everything interesting.
This poem seems very well written and the words seem to leap off the page with charisma and class and poetry. It reads very well. It flows well, and the rhythm is an additive. You have creatively chosen a scheme that makes readers want to read on . . .
I wondered a bit about the following lines:
she is a woman during hours of light,
but changes to female for darkness of night.
They seem to suggest that woman and female are or can be two different things, and I dare not argue with that because every female is NOT a woman (smile). So, I thought it was a very interesting twist you added to the poem with the inclusino of these lines.
I truly enjoyed reading this one, and you certainly provoked my thoughts and made me think. Now, I'm thinking of my own hometown and my own city as woman, and how she moves and makes every day interesting.
Great poem. Thanks for sharing it.
Latorial
www.latorialfaison.com