This Poem was Submitted By: Joyce P. Hale On Date: 2005-07-15 12:51:20 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!


The City's a Woman...

She rises from a rumpled bed, outstretched arms above her head; rustled hair is loose and awry, sheet pushed aside with sensuous sigh. She is the dark and sullen homes on rundown streets with unwashed rooms; she is the busy suited career with cultured voice and hair austere. She is the crowded commuter train, the storefront dim and the disabled lame; the buildings tall and the streets below that teem with people who move and flow. Then when the daylight hours are done, she lets down her hair to look for fun; reddens her lips and brightens her eyes, puts on her high-heeled pumps' disguise. She moves through the bars, lifts her glass, now she's a hussy, wanton and crass; she is a woman during hours of light, but changes to female for darkness of night. The city's a woman, lovely and free, who changes her skin like the changing sea; laughing and lazy whenever she will, ready and anxious all dreams to fulfill.      ©  Joyce P. Hale  06/05 

Copyright © July 2005 Joyce P. Hale


This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-08-07 12:06:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Joyce, this is a great poem, and I love how you personify the city as woman. Poets could write many great poems personffying everything as woman (smile). It's just something about who we are that makes everything interesting. This poem seems very well written and the words seem to leap off the page with charisma and class and poetry. It reads very well. It flows well, and the rhythm is an additive. You have creatively chosen a scheme that makes readers want to read on . . . I wondered a bit about the following lines: she is a woman during hours of light, but changes to female for darkness of night. They seem to suggest that woman and female are or can be two different things, and I dare not argue with that because every female is NOT a woman (smile). So, I thought it was a very interesting twist you added to the poem with the inclusino of these lines. I truly enjoyed reading this one, and you certainly provoked my thoughts and made me think. Now, I'm thinking of my own hometown and my own city as woman, and how she moves and makes every day interesting. Great poem. Thanks for sharing it. Latorial www.latorialfaison.com


This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-08-01 18:12:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.78571
Joyce, I really like the femmine aspect the best! [[wonder why? hmmmm] I love rumpled bed, rustled hair, loose, awry, sensuous! Move flow/below is good also. Changing skin/like the sea, fulfilling her dreams. This shows the strength brains, moxie, and possibility of women which I think wonderful. It's like permission to be female. Refreshing thinking. Everything in this world is sexual. Even the city. Unusual idea that works famously. I like your work, you show much talent. Good for you. I can't make any suggestions to improve it, it's right on. Enjoyable Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-07-19 16:24:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Fantastic read poet, well structured and the word flow has certainly produced the City to be a Woman. You have brought to life every aspect of being a woman from the stay at home mom to the working wife and mother......you have given her the edge of becoming a professional during the day and a gentleness in the night. Enjoyed the images created throughout this entire read.....good rhyme as well.....thank you for posting and sharing with us. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-07-17 15:00:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Joyce--WOW! Ecellent rhyming committed to this metaphoric/analogous piece. The poem is easily seen by this reader as an imaginative and colorful feminized allegory. Through an array of apt and descriptive phrases scribe has done a great job of selling this protagnist as advertised. Yes, indeed, "The City's a Woman..." (TLW)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rebecca B. Whited On Date: 2005-07-16 20:38:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.72727
Joyce, Nice metaphor the city as a woman, a woman who uses her persuasive ways and untold beauty to allure poeple to her and satisfy their many needs. "She rises from a rumpled bed, outstretched arms above her head; rustled hair is loose and awry, sheet pushed aside with sensuous sigh." [nice intro, as the city awakens to greet a new day...much like the frenzied pace as she greets all who come to her] "She is the dark and sullen homes on rundown streets with unwashed rooms; she is the busy suited career with cultured voice and hair austere." [she houses the poor and the successful alike] "She is the crowded commuter train, the storefront dim and the disabled lame; the buildings tall and the streets below that teem with people who move and flow." [nice imagery, as I envision her essence] "Then when the daylight hours are done, she lets down her hair to look for fun; reddens her lips and brightens her eyes, puts on her high-heeled pumps' disguise." [and the imagery is effective here also, as I envision the nightlife, streets glaring in bright neon color...just a suggestion, as this stanza jumps out at me...try using less of 'her'and 'the', like: When daylight hours are done, she loosens coiffed hair, looks for fun; reddens lips and brightens eyes, puts on high-heeled pumps' disguise......like I said, it is just a suggestion...you would have to edit other stanzas as well, and even out the meter that the changes would alter] "She moves through the bars, lifts her glass, now she's a hussy, wanton and crass; she is a woman during hours of light, but changes to female for darkness of night." [I like woman/light, female/night...as it allows the reader to see her ability to loosen her reserve, resort to her feminine wiles under the cloak of darkness] "The city's a woman, lovely and free, who changes her skin like the changing sea; laughing and lazy whenever she will, ready and anxious all dreams to fulfill." [ah, yes, she does adapt to the needs of her people, does she not?] I like this poem, and the metaphor of the woman/city, everchanging to adapt her essesnce to accomodate the needs of her people! Later, Beck
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-07-16 13:04:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
I like the comparison 'tween the city and the woman. I wonder if the same could be said of the opposite sex. Perhaps you could write one on that topic?! I'm glad it was a woman that wrote this 'cause if it were a man he'd get shot down in flames! For calling a woman, a hussy wanton and crass during the day as a female, and then you change course and call this female a woman lovely and free (is there a song in there somewhere? A C & W song?). A very interesting approach and simile. A very enjoyable read. The city's a woman indeed!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-07-15 17:56:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.69697
Joyce, Wow, girl knock my socs off. This is phenomenal. I don't know where to start. At first it started a little slow for me (first stanza) but as I moved along with your words it fell into a very comfortable rhythm. For me I couldn't suggest a thing to change unless it were to be authored by me.....LOL. Thanks for a most enjoyable read. Your imagery puts all sorts of visions in my mind, you have very deftly described a city and how apporpriate to call her a woman. Kudos my friend. Lora
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!