This Poem was Submitted By: Paul R Lindenmeyer On Date: 2005-08-17 18:35:22 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Of Frogs, Crickets and Vespers

A chorale    to make Bach blush Unscored resonance  Staccatoed continuums    Vibratos too passionate      Largemente Te Deums        enjoining the setting sun          in consecration of will            to a crimsoned Creation.            

Copyright © August 2005 Paul R Lindenmeyer


This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2005-09-07 20:16:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Paul. Thanks . I love the symphony. Wish I had the time to do this justice. But sufice to say this is one I'll want to read again and again. Blessings, Jennifer


This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2005-09-04 13:29:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Paul, Normally I would have read, reread this piece, and then moved on. You place Bach into the midst as a luminary of the chorus of nature, of creation, and the creation of mankinds "sound effects". I thought your use of each of your analogies was well written. In fact, I have tried this type of verse, twice-- yes existing poems, and I do not believe I was this successful. Since you used Bach, as the personification of the innate intonations of the world, if you edit, maybe counterpoint should be introduced, for Bach, (my favorite composer) was the master, as he was at imitating all forms of composition. Oddly enough, with level upon level of similar beauty, counterpoint would fit well. At any rate, this is a "top job", and so, a hearty "Bravo!!" is due.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2005-09-01 20:24:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
A chorale to make Bach blush I love the idea of a blushing Bach!! His music always sounds so pristine, so asexual. I listen to Bach and hear a perfection that somehow sounds hardly mortal. But the creatures who raise their voices here are exulting in their physicality, their reproductive power, the throbbing beat of their blood. It's an energetic and almost lustful chorale. So, yes, the blush is probably warranted. (Bach had a huge family, though!). Unscored resonance Staccatoed continuums Very nice sonics here. Lots of hard-c's, o's, s's. It blends the harsh with the soft, the croak with the hum. "Unscored" emphasizes that this is natural, unrehearsed, without limitations of key or note. It's always improv. Vibratos too passionate Largemente Te Deums Ah yes, "too passionate" -- back to the blush. The grand praise of God is a song quivering with joy. Nobody who's ever heard this evening chorus could deny its exuberance! I think they sing because they revel in the sound itself, not just as a means to an end, mating or territorial aggression or whatever. enjoining the setting sun in consecration of will to a crimsoned Creation. The hard-c sounds are prominent here as well. You enhance this with use of the visual "crimsoned" so we not only hear, we see. The red reminds me of blood, vitality and emotional excess. It has its own vivid wildness. "Consecration of will" is both sacred and secular, for the will itself is the urge to conduct life's many rituals and exercises, but the consecration ties all creatures to the God Who created them. Paul, this is a treat to read and imagine. Cricket song always makes me a bit sad because it signals summer's end, but I can't help rejoicing nonetheless. This is the truest of all vesper hymns. Well done! Brenda www.brendatate.com
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-08-24 18:26:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77778
Hi Paul,[BD] You are right! The sounds of nature are a melody of praise to it's creator. Better than Bach. As God is everywhere, in everything, we have an Earth Church. Where everything's sacred. Now if we could quit fighting and start respecting and enjoy......that would be great. Very nice verbage. Very enjoyable! peace Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-08-24 03:22:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77500
For those who are fortunate enough to have this chorus of music each night, just about dawn when it does appear to be a bit more quiet then the restof the day.........indeed Bach would probably blush but with a happiness within his heart for he too would think this is worth the read for the sights, sounds and emotions are superb. You have done a great job in presenting this one poet, structured well, your words flow and create as they do. I hear the chorus most every night in the open field across from the house I live in here in Tully. On a fog filled night it is even louder for the grampa of frogs is there to lead them on, you can always tell.......the crickets rubbing their legs together presenting the musical notes to be heard and at times the fireflies come in to light the night so we can catch a glimpse of it all. Thanks for posting and sharing with us, a winner for sure. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-08-20 15:49:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Paul: The title alone makes this delectable to me. I am following a new policy of brief critiques and your brief poem makes it easier. Now if I could just make these comments sublime, as you have with the poem. I see what you mean about what you wrote earlier about paring down. In this case it works fabulously well. A chorale to make Bach blush (love this!) Unscored resonance (these two words work together so well) Staccatoed continuums Vibratos too passionate (these creatures do express their passion without restraint!) Largemente Te Deums enjoining the setting sun in consecration of will to a crimsoned Creation. Simply exquisite, luminous writing. You do a superb job with language and imagery -- your own poetic chorale -- and it is as thrilling as the sounds I hear nightly from the pond. Thank you for this offering. On my list it goes. Peace, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-08-19 19:50:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Paul, Great structure, the visual effect lends to the quailty and naturally your verbiage is beyond perfuntory. You have given a feast for the senses I have have embided. I have an affinity for this hour of being, everything is so alive with natures music, the type of music that paints mind pictures (such as you did)of a more earthy nature. Thank you for this respite and refreshing offering. You deserve kudos for this well crafted piece. Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-08-19 15:59:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Paul, I love this poem...and am applauding. Not only would Bach blush but he would be clapping, as well!...unscored resonance...no one could write a score for this beautiful music in nature....staccatoes continuums...wonderful...I can hear it...vibratos too passionate...the frog must be chiming in....largemente Te Deums...amazing...perfect for this piece...enjoining the setting sun in consecration of will to a crimsoned creation...these last three lines are so well written and "consecreation of will" is perfect for this ditty of night sounds. I don't hear sounds of frogs and crickets where I live but wish I did...somehow it is a comforting sound at night with the bedroom window open. However, we do have them in the rockies especially if we go to the timbered areas. I like the use of 'vespers' in your title...I am thinking of it as eventide and the quietude that brings to the choir of frogs and crickets. A terse poem, very well written, and it gives me a feeling of peace. I needed that today. Peace...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-08-19 12:32:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.41667
Did you know that this piece reads as well from the bottom to the top? I'm sure you did. It is like a musical score...sharp, stattacoed rhythm. Vespers is not within my religious understanding but I do understand what it means. Frogs from their loud croaking; crickets to there pleasant chirping sound; and to the chanting at vespers makes out for a well laid out piece. Good to see you writing again. Where the heck have you been? P.S.: I'm not sure if the word creation needs to be capitalized.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2005-08-19 09:07:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Paul, A moment when all of nature rejoices. I take it the "vibratos too passionate" refers to the lack of reason of the little critters, who act blindly on whatever instinctive thing their bodies set them to. But then "consecration of will" - the great, overarching Will of the One above it all who willed it into existence. I love the "make Bach blush" phrase. At the unbridled, instinctive passion? At the simple beauty that effortlessly (it appears) puts to shame his complex polyphonies? Wonderful poem to celebrate another of the Lord's days coming to a close. Mark
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