This Poem was Submitted By: Joyce P. Hale On Date: 2005-08-23 05:34:30 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Morning Prayer Dear Lord, may this day bring me closer to Thee.
Grant me wisdom to help others in need;
to others, grace to seek comfort from you.
May I keep You in mind in all I do.
Thank You for the moon as it sets at morn,
and the sun for its light, and its rays that warm;
for the rain that gives life to all below,
and seasons that count our life's tableau.
Thank you for loved ones who fill our days;
your guiding hand throughout life's maze.
For your unbound love and grace I pray,
and I thank you for another day.
Amen |
|
Copyright © August 2005 Joyce P. Hale
This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-09-07 20:50:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.96552
Joyce, this is a sincere and touching prayer. It reminds me of all the times I used to sit and listen to my grandmother pray before bedtime or anytime she felt like it really.
The words are so personal, and yet it's not a selfish prayer. It's a universal prayer that can be adopted by men, women, boys and girls who are anticipating a closer conversation with the Lord.
I like it, and I will say it again as a prayer that I offer up to HIM.
It's so fitting that I'm reading this in lieu of all that has happened with the recent hurricane disaster. People need the LORD right now like they need the oxygen He created for us to breathe. I hope most of them know it, and I'm not just talking about the survivors and victims.
This entire country is politically and gubernatorially in shambles, morally bankrupt, hypocritical and in need of revival. I hope that this wakes us all up.
Your prayer deserves to be shared with all who will listen and agree.
Great job.
Latorial
www.latorialfaison.com
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-09-07 02:23:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Joyce,
Hats off to Chris for giving us this seven day window period. There are quite a few poems I missed and I'm glad to have the opportunity of responding to some of them.
'Morning Prayer' would be a great way to start the day. The rhyme in this gives it a musical touch and the tone is one of contentment and appreciation for the finer things in life. Indeed, there is a lot to be grateful for.
Dear Lord, may this day bring me closer to Thee.
Grant me wisdom to help others in need;
--- it is in giving that we recieve...I am thinking about the New Orleans disaster now...what a tragedy. I have always believed that the best way to get closer to God is through social service.
to others, grace to seek comfort from you.
May I keep You in mind in all I do.
---- and if all of us kept Him in mind in all that we did, the world would surely be a better place to live in.
Thank You for the moon as it sets at morn,
and the sun for its light, and its rays that warm;
---- for a good night's sleep and a rewarding day. I love the slant rhyme in this.
for the rain that gives life to all below,
and seasons that count our life's tableau.
---- tableau sounds good, you picked a good word...rich.
Thank you for loved ones who fill our days;
your guiding hand throughout life's maze.
---- absolutely, life would be nowhere without our loved ones, and we'd all be lost in life's maze if we hadn't anyone to guide us.
For your unbound love and grace I pray,
and I thank you for another day.
Amen
---- nice ending.
Coming to the poetics of the piece, I must say that the rhyme scheme is commendable. In poems such as this, it is so easy to fall under the influence of forced rhyme but you have steered clear and used beautiful slant rhyme which works its way through the poem perfectly. Well done!!!
A very well-written piece!!
Take care,
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-09-04 14:53:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.48837
Okay, being the cynic I've become, what happened in New Orleans? I'm sure those people prayed as
well.Poetically correct in its beat and rhyme. Not much more I can say, 'cept I thank you for another
day (Lord where-ever you are).
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2005-08-31 16:43:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi, Joyce,
Dear Lord, may this day bring me closer to Thee.
Grant me wisdom to help others in need;
Very timely - I wish we had the wisdom to help
the victims of Katrina's fury!
to others, grace to seek comfort from [Y]ou.
May I keep You in mind in all I do.
If you are going to use Thee I think it could be consistant
you use both Thee and You in this poem]
Thank You for the moon as it sets at morn,
and the sun for its light, and its rays that warm;
for the rain that gives life to all below,
[well, most of the time it does anyway]
and seasons that [mark?] our life's tableau.
Thank [Y]ou for loved ones who fill our days;
[Y]our guiding hand throughout life's maze.
very good images here
For your unbound love and grace I pray,
and I thank You for another day.
Amen
Ah, warm and heartfelt - this poem radiates with a gentle good will.
It is good to see gratitude expressed in a poem. Good structure and rhyme,
best,
Rachel
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-08-24 20:28:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.78261
Joyce:
A nicely rhymed prayer-poem to the Creator. I like your middle stanza,
especially, as I so often find hope and joy in the moon, sun, rain
and seasons. Your tender heart is showing.
Best always,
Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-08-24 02:46:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.91667
Joyce--The simplicity of this write belies the genuiness of its
reverence: graciously stated piousness without pleading/begging;
thanksgivings for those mundane events that are taken for granted
because we've been spoiled by a loving creator. This "...Prayer"
deserves wider readership as is. Well thoughtout and perfectly
presented. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-08-23 17:54:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80645
Hi Joyce,
This was a refreshing way for me to start my day, definitely needed this as the health thing is still keeping me down. Very well structured and ease of flow with the words. Your verbiage is a delight of discription and leaves great mind pictures to linger while filling the heart with a peace and resolve, such contentment in the knowing that prayers are heard. Just a super nice way to start the day. Thank you so much for sharing this piece with it, hope you plan on including this one in one of your books. Kudos, my friend.
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2005-08-23 14:25:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Joyce,
Sweet, warm, and a nicely Rockwellian feel to this. You handled the meter well, too. A solid effort all around.
Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-08-23 08:52:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Joyce,
What a beautiful and soothing prayer this is...and what a pleasant way to begin my day. Praying is such a personal thing but this prayer needs to be shared for its simplicity and reverance. I love the way you begin this prayer...Dear Lord, may this day bring me closer to Thee...what could be stronger than this? I always thank God but I often wonder how many of us do that and also wonder how many people only pray when they are in need, pain, or fear...may I keep You in mind in all I do...oh yes, we can pray no matter where we are...at work, in the shower, driving to and from...I think He always hears us...but it is also true that when He answers us it may not be in the manner in which we prayed but in the manner that is best for us. That should never shake our faith only test it....thank you for the moon as it sets at morn, and the sun for its light, and its rays that warm, for the rain that gives life to all below and seasons that count our live's tableau....what beautiful words that send the message to God that without You we would be nothing.
The ending of this poem could not be more perfect....for your unbound love and grace I pray, and I thank You for another day. I once wrote a poem that ended in a similar fashion...something like this...have you ever knelt and bent to pray and thank God for an ordinary day? Thank you for posting this...I will print it and refer to it often.
Blessings...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2005-08-23 08:20:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Dear Joyce,
This is a spiritually uplifting poem, that makes the reader feel joy, happy for a new day.
We have so many things to be thankful for - and you have described in poectic fashion things we should not take for granted or ignore.
I love your first verse, stay with me Lord, show me, guide me, let me think of you in all I do.
We should all take a lesson in this piece, all of those who believe - and find comfort in his words.
God bless you,
DeniMari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-08-23 06:40:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75676
A lovely way to begin one's day poet with a morning prayer to the Lord. Good structure, nice, esy, peaceful word flow, images of the moon setting in the early morning light and the thoughts associated with beginning a new day. It is always nice to say thank you for what has been received and to seek blessings upon those we know and love and at times for those we have a most difficult time dealing with. We are all children of God, He loves us all and cares for us in His own way. Thank you for posting and sharing this with us, going on my list of favorites for sure. God Bless, Claire
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