This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-09-12 16:33:25 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Wrath

A mighty hand shook the sea and sharpened the teeth of wind. The fallen roof of sky roared like hell and parts of earth were swallowed from sight. Mortals fled unguided in this ghostly hour and drank of their own breath.  Somber streams of supplicating tears spilled to meet the indignant sea.   Fumes and stench the  aftermath of Satan's wrath.

Copyright © September 2005 marilyn terwilleger

Additional Notes:
Another tale about Katrina


This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-10-07 16:53:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.69388
Do you really really think this is the devil's work? Quite an abrasive way to tell the story. Good title though.Not quite sure what to think of this piece personally. like hell and parts of earth were swallowed from sight. Mortals fled unguided in this I would take out "unguided in this"...and leave "Mortals fled". gives it more substance. Less is more. Oh s..t I'm rambling and it is late. I'll leave it at that.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Jillian K Sorenson On Date: 2005-10-02 18:02:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.56250
Satan's wrath indeed. Good that you pointed the finger at who is really responsible. I like the "drank of their own breath" and the personification of the wind, tears, and sea. Nice use of adjectives. Good work.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Troy D Skroch On Date: 2005-09-21 21:26:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
MT, Your take on the storm is filled with power and "Wrath". "A mighty hand shook the sea and sharpened the teeth of wind." The shaking of the sea like a file sharpening the wind's teeth. That's a terrible image. And very original. Excellent writing. "The fallen roof of sky roared" This line is incredible in the feeling and image of anger it raises in my mind. Wow! You enjamb into the next stanza: "like hell and parts of earth were swallowed from sight. Mortals fled unguided in this" "like hell and parts of earth" What a description of the hurricane hitting land. "ghostly hour and drank of their own breath. Somber streams of supplication tears spilled" "drank of their own breath" Incredible!! So original. And look at how you use the "s" sounds. Are you kidding me. The alliteration is mind boggling in the second line. Again, excellent writing. "to meet the indignant sea. Fumes and stench the aftermath of Satan's wrath." What a depiction of Katrina. You know, I was talking to a friend last year after the Florida hurricanes. I asked him why they give such nice names to hurricanes. Why romanticize something so utterly horrible? Why don't they name them Ass Beast Creep Demon Enus F------ Good for nothing. I think you get the picture. LOL! Very well written. Sends the message with original images. Take care, T
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-09-14 16:14:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Hi Marilyn, I'll have to agree with you...the critique numbers are down and I know exactly how it feels to post a piece and wait endlessly for a wholesome number of responses. I've therefore taken a dive to the bottom of my poem list to scoop this up and commend you for the wealth of good poetry within its casing. There have been some good pieces written about Katrina this month and this would have to rank high up there with the best of them. It is amazing how human tragedy stirs the poets within us...we have a lot to be proud of as a community....poets rush to the fore to give the suffering a voice and in doing so, offer consolation. You make Katrina out to be a monster in this one...aptly, I might add. Violent in every possible way.... A mighty hand shook the sea ---- Katrina might have been a weight lifter....very nicely put!! and sharpened the teeth of wind.---- i loved this..wind with teeth is a chilling way to describe the furor of the wind The fallen roof of sky roared --- 'fallen roof' nice again...it all caved in, the sky, the roofs of houses and human lives themselves like hell and parts of earth were swallowed from sight. Mortals fled unguided in this ghostly hour and drank of their own breath. Somber streams --- this is telling of such darkness, a vividly frim picture where all that they had was their own breaths to suffice for a lack of oxygen and...freedom. of supplicating tears spilled to meet the indignant sea.--- these lines highlight the immense sorrow and gives it volume Fumes and stench the aftermath of Satan's wrath. ---- satan of course, the master of our doomed destinies. Aptly titled wrath, this made for a chilling read, graphic, descriptive and vivid in its ability to create visual impressions in one's mind. Extremely well done!! Take care, Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-09-13 17:20:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn, Of course I am so sorry of the terrible horror of Katrina. But I wouldn't blame satan as I blame ...... 1. people.High up government not maintaing levee protection/Bush for one and all the money spent on war. 2. over populating of the planet. 3. The weather pattern changes because of melting polar regions//global warming, hurricane making weather. 4. pollution of our environment. Trees cut, dams built, waters filthy, etc. 5. Drugs/theievery/greed of society. 6. And why would one live below sea level/next to a Lake and the Missisippi river? the list could go on.....if truth be known. Whats unfair is the innocent are the ones that suffer. Not the guilty. And thats an unforgivable wrong. Everything has to start from something. Some trigger. If we looked at the root we'd see man's faults. So Satan doesn't own this rap.....Other than living in some men's hearts. [My opinion....] Good story it got me out hissing And your right Mother Earth rebelled and fumed at all the sins put on her. Hugs Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-09-13 03:54:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92308
Marilyn--Personified, metaphoric and realistic is this apt titled free verse's account of Katrina's attack on New Orleans. The four enjambing tercets provide laconic snapshots for the vivid imagery depicted. The entire four stanzas are chillingly, graphically and poignantly written. Thanks for sharing this "tale." TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2005-09-13 01:19:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
This is definitely one of the more haunting pieces posted about Katrina, the doom is enforced in each verse, with terrific imagery. You've chosen great descriptives also: ghostly hour, indignant sea, and I especially enjoyed sharpened the teeth of the wind...I can see this huge dark growl of a storm pounding the Earth - within your poem. I can sense the feeling of the people, see them crying, and almost smell the stench you write about. I'm really in awe of this one, and see that this catastophe has as well touched your heart to speak. Great job, DeniMari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-09-12 23:17:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.72727
Marilyn, Well it's late and I just read this one. Wow, this is really something. Ok, I know we're suppose to be more professional but this is really something, I'm a little short on words this evening. Anyway, your structure is good naturally, and the piece flows easily. Each line draws your reader more and more into the story, like getting caught up in a whirl wind. The verbiage paints graphic pictures or the storm, the wrath, the devestation and havoc with apt discrition. Excellent, well done, kudos my friend. This goes on my list. Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-09-12 18:45:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn: It looks like we both hit the ‘submit’ button at the same time. I had also just finished critiquing Latorial’s poem about Katrina, and am happy to see your submission on this topic. It is such good use of the public venue of TPL to voice a literary response to this incredibly tragic event. I believe that it helps us to put things in perspective – in the broader world and in our own as well. Here you use your talent to great effect. Your ways with sound and imagery are so apparent here. The title is exactly right – and fitting. A mighty hand shook the sea and sharpened the teeth of wind. The fallen roof of sky roared How we as mortals are subject to the winds, the sea, as it has always been and will always be. The “mighty hand” suggests that of the Creator, but reading on, we see that it is the great Adversary who caused the misery and “stench.” The elements obey natural laws, but this event seemed beyond what we have experienced in our time. The auditory imagery of “fallen roof of sky” which “roared like hell” is cinematographic. We can see, feel and hear it. That parts of earth were “swallowed from sight” reminds me that we truly are at the mercy of the elements as mortals. This passage suggests biblical passages. We are taken in thought to times of great disasters and reminded that we are alive by grace. like hell and parts of earth were swallowed from sight. Mortals fled unguided in this Your uses of enjambment throughout the poem increase its strength. ghostly hour and drank of their –so vividly drawn own breath. Somber streams of supplicating tears spilled to meet the indignant sea. Fumes and stench the aftermath of Satan's wrath. Internal rhyming of “aftermath/wrath” add emphasis in the final line. Certain words throughout, as “sharpened/teeth/hell/swallowed/ghostly/tears/fumes/stench/Satan” suggest the ultimate evil. That the supplications went unheard is heart rending. The tears blending with “indignant sea” is so poignantly limned. We read and weep, and realize that we are one human family who need one another, and who must grieve together. These supernatural forces are at work. And for those who disbelieve, perhaps the ‘forces’ can be seen as metaphor. In any case, this is an excellent poem. An example of your finest writing to date. Bravo! My best always, Joanne
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