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This Poem was Submitted By: stephen g skipper On Date: 2005-09-19 07:45:14 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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A Scouse Haiku

I haven’t a clue, so I’d better go and live, in a cold igloo!

Additional Notes:
Decided to improve my poetry (thank god I hear you all say) so I enrolled on a evening course for creative writing, they asked me to write a Haiku. Didnt know what one was! Still not relly sure Oh "scouse" is a slang word for someone/something from Liverpool (and it's also almost a dialect)

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-10-05 16:00:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.70000
5,7, 5...you got it. Guess the course went well. Better to live in a cold igloo than a warm one huh? Good one Stephen.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-09-28 18:07:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88462
Stephen, Join the crowd who don't have a clue about anything.[me included] We'd fill your igloo up. Why scouse? [you?] I'm no haikuer but I think you don't rhyme.I know your beat is right. Not much more to say.........I'm away. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jillian K Sorenson On Date: 2005-09-22 23:48:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Ah Stephen, I liked your other poem I read better. Darn those haikus, not my most favorite form. However, strangely enough you do not have to make them rhyme although this one does and is more humorous for it. Did the class laugh?

This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2005-09-19 20:55:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Haiku is deceptively simple, that is why there are so few good ones. Pound said, 'Haiku depends on caligraphy for its effects...a series of pictures' and 'the theme must be substantial'. What you have coined here is a rather delightful childrens' rhyme. I like Basho. If you have time to study his haiku, there is shown the subtlety, a master of the art can show. Good luck with the writing course! Terry (here's one from Ryokan) I must go there today- Tomorrow the plum blossoms will scatter.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-09-19 17:07:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90476
stephen--Technically, a senryu ("human nature"; haiku is "mother nature"), but it still got the job done. Moreover, due to the rime (clue/igloo), it is officially an English version of the Japanese Senryu. Vivid imagery and humor pro- duced by this sparsity of words. Keep writing. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-09-19 16:12:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Steven, If I could find and evening writing course I would enroll in it, as well! I like the haiku form of poetry and even though it is restrictive in the amount you can write it is a real challange to say a lot with less. You have done that here. Your count is right which is the first place to start. You have given us humor in this haiku and heavens knows we all need that! You may also be introduced to "cinquain" which is a little longer but still restrictive. I have written some and have talked others into it as well. A cinquain is mostly about love (right up your alley...grin) but I have seen some that stray from that. I have just posted one called "Times End." Congrats on your first haiku...keep at it...real brain teasers but fun. Also thank you for clearing up my confusion about Paula! I really thought I was losing it...maybe I still am but oh well. I am so happy for you and wish you every happiness with your new Paula...you deserve every minute of it. I am also pleased you are writing and posting here again. You must go to the forum and check it out...also post your picture as some of us have done. Be happy! Peace...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-09-19 14:53:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84848
Stephen, Well the count for a haiku is correct, and you have mentioned nature. I did smile, because the honesty of your statement, sort of like "I guess I'll go out to the garden and eat worms" effect, however I must say that this strikes me as a cross between asynru (about people) and haiku (about nature)...well, done, perhaps we will have a new poetic form. Gives me something to think about and possibly try, mind make over time for me. Thanks for giving me some inspiration. I like it! Lora

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