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This Poem was Submitted By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2005-09-25 10:44:59 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Upon the Back of Dragonfly

Would you think me out of my mind to leave reality behind and soar across an azure sky upon the back of Dragonfly Minister to me Oh Dragonfly Veracity stalks my every breath I wane to fit atop his back Prepared for flight off beaten path as gossamer wings pump with ease against a mid-day’s warm soft breeze Hark back at me Oh Dragonfly of certainties I once believed Grasses waltz in celebration Flowers bow in admiration Cloud creatures dance above the fields To summer sun, the meadow yields Tutor me Oh Dragonfly to triumph over life’s tumult Glinting brightly, kissed with dew A carpet wove of vibrant hue Is stretched across the rolling ground For tranquil times, I’m finally bound Deliver me Oh Dragonfly the quietude contentment brings A gentle escape from Reality’s place Upon the back of Dragonfly

This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2005-10-05 18:28:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mary, This is an exquisite blending of the prayerful --- the speaker's rhythmic but unrhymed address to the Dragonfly --- with the explanatory, as she expresses in rhyme her reasons for wanting to take this fantasy flight and then shows us what she sees. The images are vivid, in terms of color, brightness, texture and shape. We can easily visualize the landscape below, and soar with the speaker in our imaginations. Grasses waltz in celebration Flowers bow in admiration Cloud creatures dance above the fields To summer sun, the meadow yields Glinting brightly, kissed with dew A carpet wove of vibrant hue Is stretched across the rolling ground The above passages are especially striking. I love the personification of these natural things, and the gentleness of the scenery. There are no harsh words here. The symbolic implications of the Dragonfly suggest a Christ-figure, asked to "minister to me" and, in the end, "deliver me". There's a sacredness about this portrayal. Tutor me Oh Dragonfly to triumph over life’s tumult Nice use of alliteration here! The idea that the creature will instruct his passenger supports the idea that he is, somehow, an embodiment of divinity. Through the rising above adversity (presumably through faith) will come deliverance. The Dragonfly is the means to this end, even if the watchers below think that the speaker has lost her mind. Whether this acutally describes a religious experience, or some other seeking of an alternate reality, the escapist theme is clear and well presented. I've definitely enjoyed reading this! Brenda

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-10-01 07:38:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95652
Hi Mary, I'm not sure if I remember a poem of yours prior to this but I am happy to have had the opportunity of doing so with this one. I've seen a lot of dragonflies back here and these creatures intrigue me no less. You'v given them a well-deserved place in this piece....people have wrtten about birds and bees, frogs and even grasshoppers but dragonflies haven't been elevated as often (if not at all). I've enjoyed this on the basis of three aspects - the inherent music, the imagery and the meter (which inculcates the sense of riding toward fulfilment. Rhyme has always been my favorite poetic form and makes this piece sing. Consequently, was this also meant to be a song? Just wondering. The description of the sky, the lush garden, the due, etc gives this dragonfly a perfec stage to intice the reader. Nice poem, Mary. Keep writing!! Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jillian K Sorenson On Date: 2005-09-30 05:02:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.22222
Mary, the rhythm and word choice here are excellent. I especially like the sound of "gossamer." The rhymes throughout are exquisite. My only suggestion (and it is a small one) would be to change/shorten the first line. It's slightly out of step with the rhythm and length of the rest. Excellent work.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-09-28 14:03:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.82353
Mary, I found this offering to be well structured with an easy flow. Your rhyme and cadance are good and make it a most enjoyable read. I've to pick a favorite line but can not, it is all to my fancy and one would be nothing without the other. Dragonflies are fascinating creatures and wouldn't it be awesome if we could take rides on their backs.......ah, a place of serenity and peace-is that not something we all hunger for. Thank you for the respite, a chance to put away adult worries and duties to be free just for the few moments and to become a part of your well penned poem. Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-09-25 18:14:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85000
Mary, I like the 'trip'......It's great to imagine flying high on a breeze. Aloft would feel majestic, and free. The quiet, the calm, away from worldlyy strife. I'd fly off in a heartbeat. The only thing that i would change is to add 'a', a dragonfly. it stopped the flow. but otherwise, i enjoyed this alot. it took me off on gossamer wings. let's do this more. Good job, you appear to be magical! Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-09-25 17:39:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62500
I wonder why the dragonfly? It's not a very pretty insect but certainly it has unique flying habits. Where I come from they used to be called darning needles of all things. I don't know why. Nicely put and I do like the ending where you go 4, 2, 1. Usually I like to see the poet use other titles than that in the body. Something I learned at a poetry conference. Hark back at me Oh Dragonfly of certainties I once believed.....you are melancholy here. Perhaps it was the long summer days. I wonder what the certainties are that you no longer believe. Glinting brightly, kissed with dew A carpet wove of vibrant hue....................well done Is stretched across the rolling ground For tranquil times, I’m finally bound...........I hope so. Seems you want solice. BTW...no need to capitalize "Realitie's" Thanks for posting.

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