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This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-09-29 17:38:05 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Penetrated

The blinking light metered all that was incoming. Filling me in part with whatever it had gathered to bestow. Its arrival was immediate all the signs showed its existence. Movement shadowed the presence. Unseen, one could argue that it wasn't but it was, and to eradicate it must be acknowledged as real. True, or not, seen, or unseen confirmation resides in the discard.

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-10-06 14:39:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi D, I can imagine that every one that has critiqued this piece had a different take on it. It is mysterious in nature and content but when I dig deep into the lines what I see is some type of a medical test such as a CT scan, MRI, mamogram, biopsy, etc...the list goes on. The medical community has many diabolical tests that invade or penetrate the human body in order to smoke out the culprit. "confirmation resides in the discard" makes me even more certain that you have under gone a biopsy of some type. This poem is well written, as is everything you write, and the fact that it gives little clues what prompted you to write it, you have done a good job of that between the lines. I do so hope that if I am right that all has gone well, you know we are all here for you if you need us. If I am completely wrong just tell me how dumb I am and I will do my best to do better next time! God Bless....Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-10-03 10:36:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.91892
Dellena--After the umpteenth read, I no longer feel the title of this free verse refer to some sexual innuendo. And, the subsequent verbiage (IMO) verify the inference of a UFO sighting; “The blinking light metered all that was incoming. Filling me in part with whatever it had gathered to bestow. “ And not a “...congress in the morning...” or at any other time). This langauge resembles all published information, characterists and elements which points to an E.T. visit; "Its arrival was immediate all the signs showed its existence. Movement shadowed the presence. Unseen, one could argue that it wasn't but it was, and to eradicate it must be acknowledged as real. True, or not, seen, or unseen confirmation resides in the discard." Great imagination and penmanship employed which intrigues this reader. Touche and kudos. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-10-02 18:42:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dellena: It is named as an unknown 'something' that can only be indentified in the 'discard.' My prayer is that it will shrink and disappear before it is even found. If not that, then the next best, that it is nothing more than a harmless cyst where it ought not to be. The poem is mysterious but I gather that you are writing of a medical procedure or test, like ex-rays, ultra sound or MRI. Nothing can make us feel more invaded, I think. The inside parts being visible to outside eyes. As a poem it is good! Well-done, concise, and your title is arresting. It feels like being 'penetrated' (not in a 'good way') by unseen eyes and condensed into digital images. A number somewhere, on someone's list, with a name that is secondary to what the image portrays. The impersonal nature of medical tests is scary and depersonalizing. You show that expertly in your poem. I think the poem shows courage -- facing something, bracing for news. I am in your corner, cheering for you. May it be a 'false alarm' after all. Hugs, and more Joanne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2005-09-30 09:14:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Dellena Considering I have a tendency towards opacity, this caught my attention. You don't give any clues that I am bright enough to pick up as to what exactly is "incoming", but its menace seems clear enough. Or perhaps I should say, its menace seems apparent enough. "Confirmation resides in the discard" ... are you saying that the judgement we discard (true vs. not true, seen vs. unseen) gives us an insight into the particular object under consideration that the judgement we accept is not giving a complete picture of? I guess my question tells you how I am reading the poem, that it is deliberately non-specific about what is incoming because, potentially, everything is incoming ... disease, a sunset, luck, ideas. How do accurately, fully, perceive/judge anything that comes to us unless we also accept and incorporate what we naturally want to reject about it? This one strikes me as a poetic equivalent of the point-of-view gun in "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." I hope it was meant to be as deeply philosophical as I am reading it to be. Otherwise I'm gonna feel a right berk. Mark.

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-09-30 09:02:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.64286
Are you seeing UFO's or what? But I am thinking this must be the VCR light blinking. To be real you must tape it and see it. Once again I hate this script. Am I the only one? I forgot how I was able to change it as I did before. I'm not sure about your title. Sounds sexual. What the hell does all this mean? You are becoming more and more mysterious. Yup!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jillian K Sorenson On Date: 2005-09-30 04:58:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.22222
Okay, am I way off here or is this about a person and their answering machine? If so, it seems to me that this person is quite afraid/annoyed with the world at large. In any case, it's well-written and almost like a riddle. Nicely done.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Troy D Skroch On Date: 2005-09-29 21:54:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dellena, When I saw the title, I thought this was going to be an "adult" poem. Whew! Ok, I was just trying to get you to smile, now I will be serious. LOL! First of all I don't know exactly what this poem is about, but I keep getting the feeling it as about a form of x-ray. Like a MRI or something of that nature. That being the case. I think your choice of title is excellent. Perfect, in that it gives the sense of a violation of privacy and is concise in describing a procedure of that fashion. I also like the long "a" sound and the emphasis on "e". A rather vibrant word, "penetrated." Good title. If I'm wrong and this is really about being abducted by aliens, I will plead out my imperfection in the forum. LOL! I just don't know. It's bugging me. Is this an ultra sound? "Movement shadowed the presence," but "to eradicate it...." I'm missing the references, please forgive me. I hope it isn't a positive test for cancer or some terrible medical thing. I hate doctors and hospitals, forever. I just don't know. I know that your writing is perfect in its form. I just can't find my way tonight. My overall impression and feeling is rather chilling. Forgive me for starting in on this, I'm should have gone to bed an hour ago. Take care Dellena, T

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