This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-10-08 08:12:17 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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October

He loved October best when glimmering light of summer's sun grows dim and antelope mope. Wild geese sail high amidst sky then, game is abundant and ever so vigilant.  He loved the peak of dawn when it crawled over mountains steep.  The hunt in rugged hills his passion. He often said he would meet his doomsday in October.  Even protests never caused him to sway. As I watched animated leaves fall he took aim, drew a bead on death,  and joined heaven's mysterious realm. He laid down in pleasant dreams, and me...I watch October come and go as flagrant fronds scamper.

Copyright © October 2005 marilyn terwilleger


This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2005-10-30 14:59:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92857
First off Marilyn, this is a timeless classic. One could read this piece from the campfire of Clan of the Cave Bear, to the chilled evening nights where Arnie sits awash with meteorite trails. I could see the Indians and their lean-tos, or Esau heading out to please his father. This is a timeless classic. October – One never knows the theme when a title is a month, but we know the setting that is expected. By naming this piece October, you set the scene with a rustic, autumn feel that exudes the breath of summer and envisions the white crystalline coat of winter. He loved October best when glimmering light of summer's sun grows dim and antelope mope. This stanza made me smile, but I have done my share of animal observation, and certainly, they have done many things, but moping; well I have seen that too in saddened animals whose fates I am privy to, but I wish to see such in an antelope. The “glimmering” of “summers” grow dim. Fabric of a quilt begun and cherished. Wild geese sail high amidst sky then, game is abundant and ever so vigilant. – Indeed, there is a base desire, draw, from seeing the abundance of nature, even when it must be understood, the geese, free and hoping for just one more transit, and the sky, from heer to theer, beautiful. He loved the peak of dawn when it crawled over mountains steep. – I do understand, for the morning, and awaking before the world to exclaim at the moment when the world awakens, can anything be more vibrant and alive? How I love such times, and I share it in your words. The hunt in rugged hills his passion.- I love to eat, but the hunt, other than for women, I am not sure (though I am an expert marksman), I could easily deal with the preparation of life for consumption. I love the outdoors, and have felt the eyes of the sky on me. He often said he would meet his doomsday in October. Even protests never caused him to sway. – It is a swarthy thing, to speak to the surroundings of ones own demise. I have done so, but not in a cyclical way, that of choosing the meadowlark over the Christmas plover, but I do understand wanting time to be just right. I do not want to leave this world, it is the punch line of a joke I have no tender chuckles for. As I watched animated leaves fall he took aim, drew a bead on death, and joined heaven's mysterious realm. He laid down in pleasant dreams, and me...I watch October come and go as flagrant fronds scamper. - There must be so much wealth stored up in the autumn for you. I could not a day pass without looking over my shoulder as the harvest moon rises, and singing whatever melody brings the beauty of such love to the forefront. I appreciate the “drew a bead on death”, and there is a goal orientated meaning to one reaching for the “mysterious realm”. I can hope for such, but the pragmatist and the dreamer contrast. They both, however, agree on the beauty. Thanks for a poignant sharing of you soul.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Troy D Skroch On Date: 2005-10-20 20:16:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
MT, Excellent narrative. Touching and personal. Straight from the heart. I really like "antelope mope." LOL! We don't have antelope around here. S2 enjambs so well into S3 with the repetitive "he loved," working to create a seamless transition. The internal rhyme goes almost unnoticed, because one gets caught up in the story this poem tells. I love the fall. The leaves. The cool mornings, warm afternoons and sundown chill. Hmmm.... And you capture the wild fall moments, the hunting in its passion and passing. Your voice is experience laced with a hint of reservation given over to the remembrance of your Octobers. Well done. T
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-10-15 18:49:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
October.........what a powerful piece my friend and one most difficult to write. The memories are so very well expressed, your love for him and his love for natures call. The images created just flow with the scenes presented. I believe the spirit we are born with knows when it is once more time to leave and prepares itself.......sometimes being able to share that feeling with those we love the most or perhaps holding back afraid to cause them sorrow........but still, he knew, and you knew deep down too. Again, a most powerful piece yet tender and filled with love. God Bless, thanks for sharing with us. Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2005-10-13 20:37:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 5.00000
peek? of dawn? flagrant fronds? Dead leaves. ok. i see your point. t.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-10-08 12:31:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
marilyn--Of course the title denotes fated anniversary of the significant other's demise and marked with another poetic elegy: metaphors and naturesque images relate these memories poignantly instead of gloomily. IMO, this write is a cathartic gem with a healthy healing balm. Thanks for once again sharing a personal script for getting through the aftermath of such tragic events and their reminders. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-10-08 10:12:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Oh Marilyn, You should have told me I'd need the tissue box for this one. I cried with you, rejoiced with you in the memories of the things he loved, invisioned with you as you walked me through his October and it seems almost as if he were telling you in his way "To all things there is a season", phenomenal. As usual your structure is right on and your verbiage oh so colorful/discriptinve. The lines flow easily and glide one into the other just as the seasons, in the end--all things were as they were meant to be. Very sensitive and heart felt, wonderfully penned. Thank you for sharing such precious memories with us. I would not change a thing, one line without the others would just be a line but together they paint a picture to cherish. Warmest Lora
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