This Poem was Submitted By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2005-11-05 15:30:38 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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November Sighs wind
whirls wild
round
Autumns
closing sky
whispers
sighs
that leaves
the trees and
we to wonder
why the time
is nigh
so
sudden
we must bid
goodbye
at
winters
glance |
|
Copyright © November 2005 Nancy Ann Hemsworth
Additional Notes:
WALTZ WAVE
This form asks for a one-stanza titled poem, with nineteen lines;
each line has a set number of syllables. Pattern: 1, 2, 1, 2,
3, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4, 3, 2, 1, 2, 3, 2, 1, 2, 1. Words may be split
into syllables to fit the pattern. This form seems to educe a
soothing cadence as the lines gently increase and decrease, so it
is suggested that topic chosen for this form also be soothing.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2005-12-03 22:06:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Nancy,
This is a wonderfully evocative title and poem.
And yes , I do find it to be soothing to read it aloud.
I never heard of a Wave Waltz, but it's fun to learn new
forms.
Your "W"s are wonderfully whispery and soothing and I especially
enjoy the triple allit you begin with!
Thanks for sharing this one.
Happy Holidyas,
Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-11-25 14:10:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Nancy,
Facinating form, another new one for me. Thank you. This comfortable read flowed for me much like a fallen leaf being buffetted by the wind as it gently flits from place to place. I found for me, there was only one minor stumbling block:
closing sky
whispers [IMHO, perhaps had you written "whispered", the sense would have been clearer, or "sigh" instead
sighs of the plural, just a thought]
Very enjoyable, nice rhythm.
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-11-23 12:16:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.64286
Hi Nancy,
You've definitely chosen a soothing theme and with your ability to paint beautiful pictures, have given this form and its requirements due justice.
I've never come across this structure before but the end result is commendabe...much like the ebb and flow of waltz beats (waltz wave).
A befitting piece at the onset of winter. Very well done!!
Take care,
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2005-11-16 10:52:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Nancy,
Thanks for introducing me to yet another wonderful form! This is simply stunning! The imagery in this is vivid, and creates such wonderful picture in the mind as we read. I can see where word choice would be extremely importan here, as lines are short, and only 19 of them. I can fully appreciate the work you must have put into this to make it as beautiful as it is. The title is awesome! What a beautiful lead in to the body of this exceptional offering! It almost acts as the first line of the poem....well done!!
wind
whirls wild The alliteration here is wonderful, with all the 'w' sounds!
round
Autumns
closing sky Love the use of '..closing sky.." depicting season's end with perfection
whispers
sighs Love all the 's' sounds all thru this...lends to already smooth flow.
that leaves
the trees and
we to wonder
why the time Again, fine alliteration, 'w' sounds add such softness to the delivery
is nigh
so
sudden
we must bid more 's' sounds to enhance that wonderful flow
goodbye
at
winters
glance
I can see what you mean by the cadence of this form, although your word choices certainly add nicely to this effect. The words seem to 'dance' in the eyes of the reader. Your figurative language is wonderful. Descriptions are vivid, and complete. So much beauty in these words. I adore it!! Thank you for sharing this with all of us. I so enjoyed reading it! Goes on my winner's list immediately!
Always,
Mary
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-11-09 06:45:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
November Sighs......after reading your notes Nancy a poem well named. I know I am not supposed to say I like the structure of this but I do.....it is appealing to the sight as well as the mind.....you have taken the November sky and the winds perhaps that are stronger this time of the year (I know of late we have had more winds then ever before) and they certainly do bring with them the change in the season which you have created ever so nicely. Your winter season seems to start ahead of ours and I for one am praying for a very long fall perhaps leading into Spring of the coming year.........you certainly do venture out in all forms my friend and you capture them all.......thanks for posting, for sharing your God given talent again with us. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2005-11-08 13:28:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I don't usually comment on formulated verse since it's not my own choice, Nancy,
but yours is agreeable enough so that I can do so without giving away my bias
nearly as much.
Obviously your stanzaic scheme requires talent to execute without the words seeming
contrived, or chosen more for rhyme and rhythem than for meaning. It takes both an
arsenal of vocabulary and an almost instinctive appreciation of iamb count. With only
an extra syllable, you come close enough to succeed and I found your poem an unexpected
pleasure.
Structure can sometimes help tap into an almost buried collective consciousness through
striking some cord primitive man developed the chant around. The lightness that you
observe (Autumns closing sky whispers sighs) brings us that quality and does so without
the drum beat, or an overly taxed use of repetition.
Of course, a fanatic to this form would probably find fault with these qualities I
detect, but then that would only hint at why I'm not a fan of form.
JCH
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