This Poem was Submitted By: arvin r. reder On Date: 2005-12-07 16:50:37 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Symmetry Man

During a spring's cool morning at low tide In the first quarter of a waning moon, your Symmetry man standing by your side his low voice humming a wonderful tune. He a subscriber to street musicians harvesting all rumors from passers by, A soul healer with many suspicions looking for joy in each teardrop you cry. Joy filling twenty quires of paper starting the migration of singing birds, In tree tops with such sweet songs that rape her sung in a solarium of rhyming words, performing for her everytime she cried singing with rhythm and blue notes so high,  setting off alarm bells while some birds hide in distant woods chirping a lullaby. Each year comes an astral sign from the sun while Venus creates love's great illusion, touching her soulful love nest raining fun   and guiding him out of his confusion, dancing with him with such warm affection each whisper calling like a lonely loon, like a band of minstrels with connection singing love songs by late afternoon. With the descent of day light soon falling supplementing a small passage of time, sleep walking slowly in stride and calling for his last sauntering slumbering climb, quickly searching for your long lost treasure drawn to your eyes and aromatic spice, passing through each mesh finding pleasure not once, but reaching out, finding it twice.

Copyright © December 2005 arvin r. reder


This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-12-31 20:47:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.71875
Midnight is fast approaching and I realize I cannot do any justice, so let me just leave it at that. And I am tired and I have just met the man. The Symmetry Man!


This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-12-30 14:34:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.96774
Arvin, I'm probably way off on this one, however, I loved the colorful almost romantic verbiage and fine structure. This piece for me was reminiscent of Persephone of Greek Mythology, of the earth and her seasons. I thoroughly enjoyed the read. Your first few lines did well to draw this reader in and you held my interest through out the piece. Thanks for an interesting and mind challenging read. Best always, Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-12-17 16:15:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.91667
Hi arvin, I find this to be a lovely and enchanting piece. when I critique I like to feel the words and try to sense what the poet is saying...if you are looking for me to speak about the mechanics of this poem you will be disappointed. This poem sings to me with its passion and deep emotion in which it is written. It is an ambitious piece which I know took a good deal of time to write and develop just like you wanted. I appreciate that. You have so many grand lines that it is impossible to capture them all... A soul healer with many suspicions looking for joy in each teardrop you cry.........very poetic and somewhat mystical because I am not sure why you speak of this man in this manner..but I like it! In tree tops with such sweet songs that rape her sung in a solarium of rhyming words, performing for her everytime she cried singing with rhythm and blue notes so high, setting off alarm bells while some birds hide in distant woods chirping a lullaby.................these lines especially speak to me...for some reason reminds me of my father who never wanted to see me cry...how many of us will be reminded of a parent or or lover when reading these words? Very well written and conceived touching her soulful love nest raining fun..........these lines make me think this symmetry man is not and guiding him out of his confusion, ..........always with you..you wait patiently for him. Perhaps dancing with him with such warm affection ..........he is with you physically but not mentally or each whisper calling like a lonely loon,............emotionally. I am afraid I have completly fractured the meaning of this poem...but no matter...it is brilliant and will be at the top of my list this month. My best...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2005-12-08 08:43:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Your wording and songs of music keep me in tune to this piece. I see heartache yet pleasure in finding the treasure hidden within. My favorite stanza's are the 1st and last for the bring the thought together so well. Enjoyed reading this poem of desire and passion. Thanks.
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