This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2005-12-09 00:34:11 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Second, First.

The title gives this moment’s game away but only the poetic mind knows this at once, while the non-poetic mind becomes poetic the moment it grasps this title’s simple fact.† (Poets know they need read no further, for all  that follows is, like the bulk of the Talmud apropos  of the perennial exhortation to love your neighbour, merely commentary.) [begins] In much the same way,  it does not take a Schindler to know where the sympathies of a Nazi Jew must lie,  But it does take a poet. In fact, the perfect Nazi Jew is, by that post-modern-concentration-camp word  “definition”, a poet. Like it or not, Herr Schillerberg.  (Irony, here, makes the digestion a little easier.) This is where godlikeness comes into it. He was/is smart, that God guy, knowing that the best place to hide His mysteries is inside a man’s heart: the access is easier! And I  know  you don’t understand. But, you see, understanding is  your department. Oops, echoes of the concentration camp, again.  But if you didn’t love the sense of community  here in this “Why me?” literary ghetto then why, I ask you, Frau Schwartzmann, why are you so pleased to see your name come up  in that awful blue-purple light that, permanently etched  like the gene sequence for death, stains all your children? Point? Point? Point? Every prick with a pen wants to know  what the point is. But pricks with pens aren’t poets.  They’re tattooists, and the words ‘prick with a pen’ also define  a fascist. Did you know fascists are invisible, but only to themselves? Or that every morning, a fascist will look in their mirror and comfort themselves with the fantasy that they gaze upon the face  of democracy, yet be haunted by the ineluctable sense  that the mirror is, actually, empty? Then off they go to Arbeit. To encapsulate: the mistake Schindler didn’t make,  and nor do I (and the fact that you can’t see  that means that, unfortunately, I'll need, for a second,  to refer you back to schtanza number EH00002), was that he accepted the excruciating existential  necessity to align himself with the way of a very ugly world.  Why? Because he knew that in order to put the chosen people  first, he had to seem to collaborate, for a second. [ends] †Really, you’re still here? / Imagine for a second That to my purpose I harness the German Word for heaven, and follow it with an Exclamation mark. / Now what does that tell you? It should tell you something about fascism. Yes, oh yes, meine Leiberkinder, it’s true: If I can read and understand John Forbes’s ‘Four Heads  & how to do them,’ then so, goddamn it, can you.

Copyright © December 2005 Mark Andrew Hislop


This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-01-04 11:27:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Hi Mark, I am not sure if this is my first time to comment on your poetry...This ranks high so I was driven to pick this for a read,,,hehehe,,,Your artistry has its own identity, I mean, the originality is high seen because you have your own way of putting your ideas together...I would love to read more of your incredible pieces. Jordan


This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2005-12-20 15:03:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Mark, I can say the trip has been pleasant; even the nazi’s think so whether they are poets are not, but one must wonder how many who view the open soul’d étendre poetic view requires that justice subsidize injustice. There is logic in Israel only existing because of the nazi’s brutality, or even that Schindler’s “obvious” allegiances were knowable, even if not forthcoming, but only the poet understands? Or if a poet doesn’t understand is he is a nazi sympathizer, or worse yet, a poet in disguise because he was as ignorant as the germans within nose scent of Treblinka? I will skip to the conclusion; and John Forbes, without doubt the god of the anti-schizophrenic-label lead disillusionists … that is (…) I think the question is better posed is “isn’t there something more worth reading, once you’ve read the heads?”, at least for me there is. I only reviewed his writing again because you egged me on, and now that I have, well, I’d rather read your stuff. Now indeed, the veneer looks like wood, even sounds like wood cause it is glued to cheaper wood, the question once again is not whether a poet can tell the difference, but whether a poet can decipher that the veneer is not the soul. I think, existential or not, Mr. Forbes was a poor reference for the piece, but maybe that was the point. 2nd stanza first, now, if I had done that, you’d of missed my terrific banter. I chose to evaluate it last, as any good nazi knucklehead would have done. Thanks for the blood flow.
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-12-15 11:28:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.58333
Wow...what a tome! First/second what? World wars? Books of the bible? Nazi Jew? Quite the oxymoron. A Jew could never be a Nazi. Good point about Schindler though. We could debate him for years. He was an alcoholic womanizer but that's besides the point. He did save thousands of Jews but for whose benefit? HIS? I've got a bad cold and gotta stop here. Nice one Mark...I think this is exceptional.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2005-12-11 13:12:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Second, First. The title gives this moment’s game away Second World War? “Second" Biblical testament – The title hardly gives anything away in a meaningful and evident manner. but only the poetic mind knows this at once, while the non-poetic mind becomes poetic the moment it grasps this title’s simple fact.† Or what – the reader is no poet or is an idiot? (Poets know they need read no further, for all that follows is, like the bulk of the Talmud apropos of the perennial exhortation to love your neighbour, merely commentary.) The summary of the Talmud – given by Hillel the Second when challenged to do so - while standing on one foot is “Do not do unto others that which is hateful unto you – all the rest is commentary." Any “love” stuff is extraneous to that story. s] In much the same way, it does not take a Schindler to know where the sympathies of a Nazi Jew must lie, “Nazi Jew” is an oxymoron – a Jew who is a nazi is no Jew - In fact, the perfect Nazi Jew is, by that post-modern-concentration-camp word “definition”, a poet. Like it or not, Herr Schillerberg. (Irony, here, makes the digestion a little easier.) No, not really This is where godlikeness comes into it. He was/is smart, that God guy, knowing that the best place to hide His mysteries is inside a man’s heart: the access is easier! And I know you don’t understand. But, you see, understanding is your department. Oops, echoes of the concentration camp, again. If this is ironic it eludes me. But if you didn’t love the sense of community here in this “Why me?” literary ghetto then why, I ask you, Frau Schwartzmann, why are you so pleased to see your name come up in that awful blue-purple light that, permanently etched like the gene sequence for death, stains all your children? [???] Point? Point? Point? Every prick with a pen wants to know what the point is. But pricks with pens aren’t poets. actually, some are They’re tattooists, and the words ‘prick with a pen’ also define a fascist. Did you know fascists are invisible, but only to themselves? Unfortunately some are pretty huge and concrete to themselves Or that every morning, a fascist will look in [his/her] mirror and comfort [him/her]self with the fantasy that they gaze upon the face of democracy, yet be haunted by the ineluctable sense that the mirror is, actually, empty? Then off they go to Arbeit. I don’t think that the caps on the word "Arbeit" work if you are trying To evoke Auschwitz with that word To encapsulate: the mistake Schindler didn’t make, and nor do I (and the fact that you can’t see that means that, unfortunately, I'll need, for a second, to refer you back to schtanza number EH00002), was that he accepted the excruciating existential necessity to align himself with the way of a very ugly world. Why? Because he knew that in order to put the [*chosen people- If this is ironic it is certainly not working for me] first, he had to seem to collaborate, for a second. [ends] †Really, you’re still here? / Imagine for a second That to my purpose I harness the German Word for heaven, and follow it with an Exclamation mark. / Now what does that tell you? Nothing - are you trying to make a himmel/Hitler connection? It should tell you something about fascism. Yes, oh yes, meine Leiberkinder, it’s true: If I can read and understand John Forbes’s ‘Four Heads & how to do them,’ then so, goddamn it, can you. Well, like most poets, Forbes is certainly susceptible to reductive interpretations –
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-12-09 15:52:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Hi Mark, Well I hung in there to the very end...surprised?? I do have one question. Why are you so hell bent on confusing the ordinary person...such as myself? If we were in the same room, across the table maybe with a drink of choice in our hands, then I could interupt you for clarification or even to argue a point. However, that is not the case. So here I am left with all the questions that this piece puts in my feeble mind and you are not here to give me the answers. Too bad...this is well written and thought out and it would be my guess you spent quite a bit of time composing it. I think you have put Arnie in his place with this one...hope he reads it! Always...Mazza
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2005-12-09 07:11:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.66667
I do not see this piece as poetry but more of a story of a poet within the a time period. I see some thought presented but do not see flow. You flip-flop from Nazi to Fascism showing change within the person. If this is what you intended then good job if not...My read is incorrect as probably so many others might feel due to the presentation and wording. Unfortunately the average person would need a dictionary by their side...I consider myself average. As for score I don't care but you should for you would want feedback and I have always done that with how I view a poem mostly telling them what I like and if something stands out then comment on that. You have selected only a few to read your work and that is a shame...
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