This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2005-12-17 09:36:04 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Time

I should stand and salute time             Time We waste, drag it through our pathetic little lives Forgotten Lost Not Enough Yet too much of on a rainy day Spared Counted Scrutinized   Changed at will twice a year without giving it proper warning Hours to days to months Only minutes away from death seconds away to say and remind ourselves that Life is too short of time

Copyright © December 2005 DeniMari Z.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-01-06 09:27:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.37500
My type of poetry taking a moment of time and describing what it means. Time is precious and how do we spend it. I wrote a poem on this subject several years ago and I will share it with you for your have shown what time has meant to you: Time Precious for it is a gift. How does one wrap it? The only question. Packaged to loosely it soon unravels Bounded to tightly becomes limited and bruised Properly tied possibilities are endless when unwrapped life is explored How quickly it passes… Copyright © March 2001 Thomas H. Smihula You have made me go back and see those areas that I overlooked in mine like the changing of time. Well done. Thanks for sharing.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-12-30 23:25:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.93939
DeniMari, Wow, you've really hit the nail on the head so to speak. Exactly time, is too short when it comes to life and yet we ignore it and squander it. Nope, I wouldn't change your poem, like it the way it is...no suggestions here. Best always, Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-12-24 17:43:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77273
You are so right. Can;'t argue with your premise. But time is nothing without a watch or calendar or the stars. Time is just a word...Trouble is , most people project a future, but the future is now. Okay? I would change the title here and make it more intruiging. Personally I don't like using titles that are already in the poem.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-12-21 16:14:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
DeniMarie, Right on. I think mostly we waste time. We don't value it. Therefore we act like we have all the time in the world. If we realized at birth we were given an hour glass of sand for all the times of our life. and every moment dropped out leaving less and less and we could watch it......we may feel differently! Good thoughtful poem. We are pathetic...... Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2005-12-17 19:57:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Hi DeniMari, This is cute but the line "Only minutes away from death" makes me feel sad. But this is a realization to all of us. Life is too short so we should live life to the fullest. How I wish we can live a thousand years! Thanks for making us realize the importance of time. Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-12-17 11:28:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
Hi DeniMari, Such a sad piece full of pathos and passion. The words choices, brief, but powerful. I have a feeling you may be writing this about your sister. I hope that is not the case but I fear it is. Your last line... life is too short of time...is amazing...an unusual way to speak of how fast time passes us by...very poetic. The enitre piece is well written but dolefully conceived...I'm putting it on my list. I have said prayers for your sister and for you, as well. I hope the Christmas season will give you and your family something to smile about. God Bless...Marilyn
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