This Poem was Submitted By: Medard Louis Lefevre Jr. On Date: 2006-01-16 06:44:59 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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dirty christian you are not alone, there are many like you
His heart bleeds love for you despite what you do
you think you feel it but you don't
you bend His words to suit your purpose
you praise His glory but your faith is unclean
His grace is lost on your sinful prayers
He will always forgive you though you flaunt repentance
your service serves only a dirty christian
you have no clue to what He wants
you only know how to adjust Him to your desires
your life is corrupt, distant from Him
you mistakenly worship the dark prince instead
you cannot change His message to you
you cannot pollute His book with soiled hands
He knows you more than you know yourself
only a fallen angel can speak to a dirty christian
there is no sanctification for those who won't sacrifice
this immoral world for His sacred touch
depavity can never replace His gift to you
turning away while He is reaching for you
you will be lost forever if you don't follow Him
the certitude of Him will never reach your soul
His promise can only be fulfilled by those who glorify Him
a dirty christian can never be with Him |
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Copyright © January 2006 Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.
Additional Notes:
a poem to myself
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2006-02-07 11:46:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Medard,
The best are often hardest on themselves. Like you. I've read many of your poems in this vein, and you exemplify Christ's words about the kindgom of heaven coming for the humble, the meek, those beating their breasts and saying, "I am not worthy to receive you." Accoring to my conception of God, there must be a place for you in His paradise. And the irony of it, the beauty of it is that it is because you think it is the last place you should be.
A good friend who I have become somewhat estranged from sub silentio - perhaps it is in my mind - once moaned (often, actually) about the woes that have resulted from religion. And he was, of course, so right. More damage can be done with bigger weapons, and God is the biggest. I have been, myself, a fool armed with this most dangerous weapon. Pure intentioned, but a fool nonetheless. But at bottom is Jesus, and this pure, basic penitential response to him. The weapon used righteously, for self defense and preservation. For the simple covering of our sins. Amen.
Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2006-01-19 07:04:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Medard
It's hard to take this poem on the "face value" you offer, that it is a poem to yourself. That said, the privacy of the self-directed monologue is its strength. You could just as well be mumbling under your breath about a "dirty christian" you chanced an encounter with, or expounding your faith from a pulpit. It's a private statement that could easily be read as "He's talking about Me!" by any "casual" reader. This is because you mean every word so much. That's one side of it.
The other side of it is the fire-and-brimstone. In response to reading "a dirty christian can never be with Him", sinners like myself run for the cover of Mark 2:16-17 "And when the scribes and Pharisees saw him eat with publicans and sinners, they said unto his disciples, How is it that he eateth and drinketh with publicans and sinners? When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance." I'm not sure Jesus would want to be equated with a fallen angel, any more than those who do not repent can be equated with those slated for forgiveness.
Back to my main thought, which is that the self-dircted nature of the piece is its strength. This allows you to write with a very irregular metre without the poem being weakened: it is the raw force of conviction that lends the poem all its weight.
If it has a weakness I want to note (possibly only on a personal level), it is your fire-and-brimstone ending, which lacks the hope which is the heart of the Christian message.
But then, so does pretty much the whole of the "ending" of the New Testament, Revelations.
Best wishes,
Mark.
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2006-01-19 01:04:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Dear Medard,
Only a true believer would be able to pen these thoughts, and you have written some very profound verses.
Your message is clear, and easy to read. Either one, truly believes and lives according to their religous beliefs, or flips the off/on button according to what suits them and not God.
While I may not agree with all you have written as in:
you mistakenly worship the dark prince instead
only a fallen angel can speak to a dirty christian
you have conveyed a point of which you value to be true.
I really liked the following lines:
His heart bleeds love for you despite what you do
you cannot pollute His book with soiled hands
I believe depavity is spelled wrong, think there's an r in there, probably just a minor type-o.
This was a good read, and very thought provoking.
Sincerely,
Denimari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-01-16 08:29:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.27273
I really like the feeling you show behind this one setting the stage for the ending. Dirty Christian is definately shown, yet you have only touched the surface. So many attend church thinking they abide by his wishes yet it is the day to day actions that one should put him in and try and abide by his words. How many teach their children respect, how many truth, how many that work is beneficial, how many that his words are written for us to follow in the ten commandments. Although I am not a church goer for many reasons I still beleive the words and try to live each day by them. Treat onto others has you would have them treat you. Honor thy mother and father. I could go on and on and that is what makes this poem very good for you make the reader think about how they live their life. So if you wrote it for yourself you have captured many others into reviewing themself. Well done. Like the structure and thought.
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