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Senses with Reasons Hands reach to gather stones, smooth surfaces washed by endless years, of natures wondrous events wealth is now captured, within the palm of a single hand Eyes viewing the sunset, warmth radiates into the inner thoughts knowledge has been gained; through the turbulence of creation with a generating heat, in times sight Ears sense sound, as engines roar creating a vibration, encompassing the middle structure that has given life its lift Aroma fills the nostrils with delight memories of flavor, captured on an endless road a journey appeasing the souls appetite The voice rings in the new refreshing that, which has come to pass giving meaning, yet the words have been spoken before Dawn past, dusk approaching a layer of fog sets its blanket awaiting life, engulfing its wonders… |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2006-03-06 16:22:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Thomas,
I have not reviewed a poem in so long, the finer points are forgotten.
This is the type of poem which appeals to me, evoking the brain rather than
emotions. Your title is fitting and each scenerio (sp) is apt.
Each tercet is carefully delineated to the import of each sense. Both
the 1st and 3rd stanzas effectively use alliteration; in both instances,
the Sssss sound is heard. Sibilance paints a picture on its own.
The 4th stanza is the most appealing to me as it is my strongest sense.
And you mention the fact that the sense of smell is tied to memory. So true!
When I smell a pot of beans cooking, it reminds me of my grandmother's kitchen.
You tell us: "memories of flavor, captured on an endless road, a journey
appeasing the soul's appetite."
I see nothing I would change. Again, I would remind you: about punctuation:
since you use it in some places, I think you should use it throughout the poem.
I enjoyed reading your poem as I do all of your pieces.
An accomplished piece of writing and I always look forward to more from you.
Best wishes,
Mell Morris