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This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-03-18 15:58:58 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Tranquility

The silence of The snow laden Mountains Cloak me in their Quiet aisles Of prayer. Hushed are my Footsteps on The white Forest floor as Welcoming pine Trees cradle Me in their bosom. I revel in the Tranquility of This reverent Place, only Here am I Safe from the Daggers that Pierce my soul. Renewal of body And spirit Begins with The crimson Dawn.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2006-04-04 04:33:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.93333
Tranquility, good title for this one poet and it more then enough to bring the reader in for a closer read. Like the way you arranged the words in each stanza and presented the poem so it would allow the reader to take part in the viewing of it all, the feelings associated with the work comes forth too. There is such peace within the mountains, the silence, even when you may hear the sound of the morning birds or the animals coming down for a drink of cool water, the silence remains.......hushed are my footsteps on the white forest floor..........what a sight to see........perhaps you speak of a new fallen snow and how beautiful it is after such an encounter............good form, word flow, images and emotions continue from start to finish. Thanks for posting, for sharing, take good care now and God Bless, Claire I always find being alone with nature replenishes my own soul and clears my mind of all worry.

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2006-04-03 11:38:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
Dear Marilyn, This poem is amazing, and well worth the read. It made me feel peaceful and relaxed. I can imagine, meditating to this, and feeling a calm come over me. It is rich with imagery, first verse touches my heart with "Cloak me in their aisles of quiet prayer", and sets the stage for the rest of the poem. It is within your verses I'd like to be, and feel this place, if only for a moment. Fantastic job. On my list for this month. Sincerely, DeniMari

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2006-04-02 11:06:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn, This is absolutely stunning. The imagery in this is so vivid and clear. Your descriptions rich, and complete. But, let me backtrack...I'm getting ahead of myself a bit. First, the title is a perfect lure into this wonderful peice. "Tranquility." Not only does it instill a feeling of peace right away, it's something we all seek in our lives, so we are automatically drawn in by this single, powerful word. "The silence of The snow laden Mountains ..." Being originally from Michigan, I can relate to this 'silence' in the snow. One can almost hear the blood rushing in their ears, it's so quiet. This creates not only a beautiful image in the mind, but touches on our sense of hearing as well. I could almost hear that rush... Wonderful beginning, as it sets the perfect mood right away, opening our minds and senses to what's yet to come. "Cloak me in their Quiet aisles Of prayer..." Again that wonderful peaceful feeling. "Quiet aisles of prayer..." Beautifully stated! Love the metaphor! "...as Welcoming pine Trees cradle I have often walked in the woods, and felt as though they were wrapping their arms around me. This line brings that warm safe feeling, and some wonderful memories, rushing back. Very visual, and again you address the sense of touch (ie: cradle). "...Here am I Safe from the Daggers that Pierce my soul..." I LOVE these lines. You have found sanctuary from the everyday trials of life. A place that envelops you in gentleness and peace. A realm of safety, a repreive if you will, from stark reality. Great word choices here, as well...love "daggers/peirce" One can "feel" the sharpness of these words. Yet again, the sense of touch. "...Renewal of body And spirit Begins with The crimson Dawn..." Superb ending, too. The first word, 'renewal', leaves us sighing in releif. Revitalized. Recharged. Ready for the new day..."the crimson dawn." A wonderful way to end this, in a flash of brilliant color! What a treat this write is. So much imagery, and emotion. I so enjoyed reading this. Simple and succinct, it touches the soul. Thanks for sharing, Marilyn. Brava!! Always, Mary

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2006-03-20 19:55:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Marilyn, After reading of Mell's passing today, I could use a little tranquility and have been feeling sad that one of my mentors has gone from this world. I know she is in a much better place and not suffering anymore, but it still makes the tears flow to think of it. This piece pulled me in and helped me feel insulated from the cold bitter harshness, and cradled by your pines I feel safe and sound. Thank you for this warmth on a cold cold winter night. May the Lord Bless and Keep you. Best, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-03-19 01:05:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94444
Marilyn, So clean and crisp, full of imagery, I could even smell the snow and the morning cripness. Thank you for sharing this with us, cleansing and refreshing. Yes, tranquility---great title and very well portrayed with your words and visual layout. best always, Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-03-18 20:14:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
Hi Marilyn, Good to see you here. I like this poem for it's Godliness. Nature and quiet aloneness is a wonderful place to heal. And we seem to be in great need indeed! All of us........ Your poem takes me 'there' and I love the view. The mountains and trees, as different life forms from us, share themselves and their tranquility. Did you feel the power and majesty from the mountains? Sit in front of a waterfall and tell me your emotions..... Good job, Marilyn. Hugs Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-03-18 18:14:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
Words that are very well thought out and present the picture of praying within the forest surrounded by the highest mountains. I really like this poem but the presentation did not hit this readers mark not to say others will not like it. I would have liked to see the stanza's in reverse pattern if there was to be any but that again is only my opinion. Felt like I was jumping off a cliff...Again the words were an excellent choice. Thanks for sharing Marilyn.

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