This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-03-18 19:52:53 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Left My answer to loss came upon the wind.
As words I've never expected.
It was a sign I have waited for
signifying to me that you are fine.
Gone from my today and my tomorrows
you've left me alone with my sorrow.
And the yearning for you I always will.
I have lived in darkness but I've known light
and I now trust things shall be all right.
As the sun arises and the flowers bloom
out of nothingness everything comes
and then it goes as the soul knows of love.
I feel assured we will meet again, my friend.
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Copyright © March 2006 Dellena Rovito
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-04-06 20:04:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76190
Yes you have captured depth within your feeling of loss yet flowers do bloom and when your time comes you will meet again. Enjoyed this well structured presentation of feeling. Thanks for sharing. Thomas
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2006-03-28 20:49:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
What can one say when your words touch my very soul. The loss of your dear friend is so openly felt within the lines, one can feel the wind as you read ......feeling the emptiness in your heart at the deep loss of this friend. Perhaps you also speak of not only a friend but a close relative that you have recently loss .....I know I am sorry for your loss, for the pain you have felt and lived with and I pray the "Light" shall shine upon you knowing you shall all meet again, someday.
Thanks for posting and sharing. Perhaps some may give reference to Mell within these lines but I honestly feel it is closer to your heart. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-03-22 12:43:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.56250
I wasn't quite sure of what your title meant when I saw it but soon realized it had to do with Mell. It seems she has inspired from the grave as this is the second I've read on her today. Your second stanza is perfecto...perfect and well said. This is one of your finer pieces and I am glad I've read it.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2006-03-19 10:29:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dellena,
This is poignant and personal.
I feel your pain.
I understand you've suffered this loss and it leaves an empty spot
in the heart. Your simple "LEFT" is title enough to show where you
are in this loss.
I have one small suggestion on line 7. You might want to rework this
just a tad to make it blend into the rest of the piece a little bit more.
I would suggest a change from
"And the yearning for you I always will."
to:
"And yearning for you I'll always be"
or something of that sort.
I know I will probably regret messing with your poem. Everytime I do that
I end up being sorry. So please don't take offense. I'm just trying my hand
at the new TPL critiquing. :-)
Your poem will stand beautifully as is.
Best,
Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-03-19 01:03:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94444
Dellena,
A very fine way of summing up how one feels when loss of someone close comes to pass. This reader could feel your pain of emptiness, the sorrow of missing a loved one and even in the knowing that they continue on in spirit does little to ease the pain. This is full of emotion, love, sorrow and a grieving even while a deeper knowledge invades the mind......very well done. God Bless,
Osiyo,
Lora
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