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This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-04-12 11:04:10 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Soul in Need

Help! I’ve slipped within a time crevasse Slipping, reaching, for someone’s unconditional grasp Help! I’m sinking suffocating fear Sinking, drifting, Can anybody hear Understanding, can anyone hear this voice Yearning, a path without a given choice Alone, In thought now a living death Alive, without a single breath … So empty here, so dark the fear …

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2006-05-04 10:28:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Tom, This has a very real feel and for good cause. There are many who feel this way and thank heaven there is help for them. Your rhyming softens it up a little but it is still very effective. The ending is also effective. Flows great and I like the way you laid the piece out as well. I can recognize the way the narrator feels as I have been there and a helping hand did reach my grasp and pull me from the depths. Thanks for the reminder! This is one of my fav of yours. Best, Jen

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-04-24 22:13:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85000
Hi Tom, This poem is so poignant! It's calling for help (SOS) and it impacted me so much. I mean I can think of the times in my life when I badly need of help but help is nowhere to find. This is more serious because it is the soul in need not physical thing. I am thinking of the soul almost invaded by the devil trying to be cleansed, trying to be footloose. The emotion you painted here is so felt by me and it is a success that way. Jordan

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2006-04-22 20:45:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Thomas, This poem is stirring, sad and written very well. I love the font you've chosen, it gives the whole piece extra appeal. Your last verse is my favorite, rhyming well, profound, as if making the reader feel, the living, are merely existing, not truly alive. You've chosen exactly the right words, to convey the overall theme to us. Unconditional grasp Suffocating fear Sinking Drifting All excellent choices on your part. The last line is my favorite, So empty here, so dark the fear...wow - I believe a lot of readers will be able to relate to this line, along with the whole poem in it's entirety. Very good job. Sincerely, Denimari

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-04-14 19:51:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Thomas, We're all souls in need, indeed. I know the feeling of aloneness. And soul aloneness is worst. No matter how you rationalize it, nothing changes the fact, we live, have regrets, have love, die, alone. hoping, praying there's a hereafter. without the knowledge for sure, that there is. and we're asked to believe.... pray for a sign......and it will come. sometimes we must despair you are on the right trail, dear Thomas....keep on. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-04-12 19:10:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I love the way this reads..it has a soft but urgency to it which is perfect for your subject. I like the rhyme pattern as well, and the cascading effect. Really enjoyed your words.

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-04-12 13:36:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.50000
Hi Thomas....WOW....you have written a poem that is so graphic and full of panic that I felt my heart beat faster as I read it. Sometimes I too write dark poetry and I am never sure quite why that happens...but it does. This one reminds me of something Poe could have written...compelling...full of intrigue and fear. Well done...I loved it. Peace...Marilyn

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