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This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-04-12 13:22:46 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Silence

I never knew silence could be so loud, But it is It reminds me of the sound of a seashell, Held to my ear I can hear it roar, softly Like a seashore It would be a vacant sound, If not for the tears I cannot hear the tears, Only the silence, As it roars inside my ears

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-05-06 16:56:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Marilyn, There is a sound for Silence.........no noise/emptiness/nothingness/void/alonenes. It can be also a sound for ..........God/joy/memories/prayer/peace/aloneness. Use it as needed. The secret being balance! You are loved..... Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2006-04-28 07:14:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I like taking the common act of listening to a seashell and getting a roaring silence, Your always a good read.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-04-20 23:22:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.52632
Marilyn, Very soft, very sad and strikes me unusual from your style but not unpleasant. Nice discripters, almost like the memory of a dream, melancholy...but peaceful. This I must reread and ponder further. Thank you for the mind tinglies. Best always, Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Ronald D Istivan On Date: 2006-04-18 20:54:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This seems to be the strongest of all the poems you submitted this month. The spacing of the lines, the arrangement, is elegant, yet strong. The repetition of the word "tears" is strong, as well, and the last line strengthens the poem by adding to the subtle rhyme scheme.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-04-17 00:31:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Marilyn, This is short but it's right to the point. And I wonder how this poem makes as a whole perfectly crafted in just few words. Silence could be so loud? Yes, in silence you can explore higher. You can deeply penetrate your mind in silence, it's like no interference at all. Tears connected to silence? Isn't it after the tears there is silence in your heart? I mean when you burst out everything through tears, like bursting out your feelings, you are relieved! I don't know if I am making a sense here of what I say! LOL...anyways, that's all in my mind... Peace, Jordan

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2006-04-12 21:24:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Marilyn, Such a sad post, very emotional and heart wrenching for the reader. Silence, can be golden as they say, but too much of it, can make someone feel totally alone, in a world full of billions, it makes me wonder how any one person could feel alone, or live in silence, and yet I know that so many do. I preferred my younger years, when the kids were growing up, the activity, the sounds, the comings and goings were all a natural part of my existence. Now, it's quieter, much quieter, and I find myself exploring thoughts on how much I hate all of the silence. This kind of silence can be irritating, and yes, as you say "loud." Sometimes I even think, how could I feel so alone, when there are so many people in the world, but I don't do anything to change it - go figure. This poem is simply stated, but leaves a powerful impact on the reader, with it's emotional pull. How to break the silence, is my next thought, and when I figure it all out for myself, I'll let you know. Sincerely, Denimari

This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-04-12 18:55:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
HI marilyn. I liked your use of the seashell to compare the sound of silence. For silence does roar in ones head when it brings pain crashing down. "It would be a vacant sound, If not for the tears"..this really brings the atmosphere across in your poem. Lonely and hollow feeling, the tears being water adds so much to the dimension of your piece...even though this has little to do with the shoreline you mention in this, the mention of the tears immediately made me think of a hurtful time in my past, driving in the car crying and watching the rain hit the windshield...very heavy and depressed feeling. Your choice of couplets is very effective as well, with each a seperate thought and process to the conclusion. They come across baren and with restrain in the voice of the poem. I enjoyed this very much because I am a lover of short, strong to the point poetry, that leave an impression on the reader. You have very much suceeded at that. Thanks for sharing!

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