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This Poem was Submitted By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2006-04-17 20:57:12 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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For All That Lives And Calls Earth Home

Mother raccoon rises from her den and senses that her kits are hungry but her hunger calls her to the pond. Last night in the thrumming reeds frogs performed long love songs. Their moist rumblings, her hungry stomach bind one to another-- as meant to be as any pair of lovers. I think of her and her shiny fingers, separating the bits of flesh she touches lightly in her hurry. The gleam in her eyes now is like white fire warming the milk rising in her like yeast, like sun. In this morning’s light she stands silently her body speaks of nursing kits, her tender need.

Additional Notes:
rev

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2006-05-04 12:17:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Joanne, What an awesome name for your poem. I have watched this piece evolve and find this latest version to be enchanting. I didn't think you could better this, but obviously I was wrong , as this is even more delightful then I ever could possiblly have imagined. My fav parts are becomming almost too numerous to mention. "thrumming reeds" and "moist rumblings" catch my ear. Ha! and I love, "As meant to be as any pair of lovers" That is just superb! And then it builds: "The gleam in her eyes now is like white fire warming the milk rising in her like yeast, like sun." That is my absolute fav part. Love the simile. And perfect ending as well. Love every part of it! Thanks for sharing the revision with us. BLessings, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-04-25 18:12:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77778
This write is so active and real, you have written each stanza into brilliant images, and I can picture all so well. This is not only for the eye of the imaginator but for all senses come alive in the read. I love the nurturing in this. It is tender, and natural and a real treat for me to read. I think my favorite stanza in this is "Their moist rumblings, her hungry stomach bind one to another-- as meant to be as any pair of lovers." and links so well with the preseeding one. I love the similies of warming mild, like yeast, like sun. very nice! The last stanza is beautiful and such a soothing way to end this piece. You have a way with words my friend, and one can feel the love of all things natural in all you write. Enjoyed this so much!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Elana H. Kirshenbaum On Date: 2006-04-21 07:32:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Joanne. This is only my second critique as I am rather new here. Wow. I just love this. It speaks closely to my heart. The language and rhythm is stunning. The format of the lines works wonderfully and the energy flows so beautifully. I especially love the following two verses: I think of her and her shiny fingers, separating the bits of flesh she touches lightly in her hurry. The gleam in her eyes now is like white fire warming the milk rising in her like yeast, like sun. ."..milk rising in her like yeast, like sun." Oh, it's fantastic. The way the language builds upon itself, line after line. This is not easy to do. It echoes the writing of Mary Oliver in many ways but is your unique voice. I often am saddened and wonder, as I drive down the highway and see their bodies lying, killed by cars, if they have kits in a den, waiting for their mothers to come home. Thanks for sharing. I have no constructive suggestions here. Thanks for sharing! Elana

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-04-20 19:21:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.52632
Joanne, I'm sorry I haven't gotten to this sooner, it is just superb. All the while I was reading I kept seeing images in one of those little English style garden books, the ones that are crafted to house just the finest of a story and pictures to go with, the little treasure books we recieved as a child, held on to an cherished, like the peter rabbit book...*smile*. Now when I feel well enough I'm going to do you some pictures for this, I think it is just the greatest, found no nit and wouldn't change a thing for in the doing you risk the chance of changing intent and meaning. Very ethereal, warm and so full of life, yes spring has come to the woodland and Mommy's must rear their kits, as Mommy's do. Perfect in flow, essence, meter and thought, OK, what can I say...you got me hook line and sinker...Brava! mon ami' best Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2006-04-19 12:31:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Lovely poen, Joanne - a few suggestionse For All That Lives And Calls Earth Home Mother raccoon rises from her den and senses that her kits are hungry but her [own]hunger calls her to the pond. Last night in the thrumming reeds frogs performed long love songs. Their moist rumblings, her hungry stomach bind one to another-- [ as any pair of lovers.] I think of her and her shiny fingers, separating the bits of flesh [who does this - the raccoon?} she touches lightly in her hurry. The gleam in her eyes [now a white fire] warming the milk rising in her like yeast, like sun. In this morning’s light she stands silently her body speaks [of nursing , of tender need.]

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-04-19 05:57:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn, The format although well laid out seemed to not flow for this reader. The most difficult part was where the mother raccoon reaches the pond mixed with the frogs performing their songs. I would have liked to see each separately in individual stanza's and not combined but that is only this readers opinion. I see the importance of the frogs for you show and define their place in the third stanza. I did enjoy this for you take a part of wildlife and show life within its domain. The last four stanza's each contain a thought and view separately and that is well done. Thanks for sharing. Thomas

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-04-18 09:24:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57143
Hi Joanne....is there anyone who can write about a mother racoon giving her personality and human qualities but you? You paint a clear image of this mother with your pen. I love the notion of the frogs performing love songs...clever and innovative...."their moist rumblings, her hungry stomach"...wonderful I think of her and her shiny fingers, separating the bits of flesh she touches lightly in her hurry.....this may be my favorite stanza...but then again I am not sure as the remaining lines are just as stunning. The gleam in her eyes now is like white fire warming the milk rising in her like yeast, like sun. I have seen racoons with eyes that gleam...they seem to sparkle and I have often wondered why this paticular animal owns such eyes. I marvel at your discriptions of the rising milk like yeast....amazing! Of course you end this gem with an outstanding finish. You lend pride to this nursing mother...even though she must kill to feed her young it is forgivable. Like any other mother her quest is to nourish her young in any way she can. I find myself feeling warmth for her because I remember those same emotions as I nursed my own children. Outstanding!! Bravo Blessings...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-04-17 23:58:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Auntie Joanne, I was so excited to see your submission again. Thank you first of all for your zest in sharing your poetic talent with us. This one, as always expected from you, has everything to offer to complete your readers' satisfaction. The theme is most vital. It is a call to save our staggering Mother Earth. Although the theme is serious, you crafted this in a very artistic way. The idea of a "racoon" to emphasize the idea of Mother Earth is so unexpected and it left me amazed. Frogs performing long love songs...is so lovely! Yes, personification! This is one of the ingredients that makes the poem lively. All I can say is "Brava!" Jordan

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