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This Poem was Submitted By: Ronald D Istivan On Date: 2006-04-20 08:07:22 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Letter

Should I poison myself all the way? Your face smiles like a Cheshire, and I smile back at you. Here I have a bag of tricks. It is worthless. Take out my toys and play with them. Sincerely.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-05-06 16:19:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77778
Hi Ronald, A concise one but intriguing in a sense. As I understand, this one is experienced usually in teenage life where breakups and misunderstanding between sweethearts were "rampant" and I can relate to this one very well. I like the way you presented this; short, imperative and compelling! Write on. Jordan

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-04-25 07:16:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76000
Hi Ron...I hear some pathos in these lines. Perhaps the end of a relationship that turned bad and injured your heart. I realy like terse poems that say so much with so little words and this one does that for me. I love to dig between the lines and try to get inside the poet's head. Some may think this piece is humorous but to me it has such a doleful sound...like the poet is attempting to hide his fractured heart. Either way it is a wonderful poem...bravo. Peace...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-04-24 14:28:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.25000
Welcome. I got a kick out of this (I hope the humour was intentional). Sounds like you are one pissed off person who has some wounds to heal. Well done in almost cinquain. I wonder if he/she ever responded? Keep on writing.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2006-04-22 19:00:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Ronald, there is a strain of bitterness throughout, but the “Felix the Cat” analogy is unmistakable. O f course the Cheshire smile is “black magical” if you will, all that remains when the relationship is over- yes indeed there is a strain of ambivalence. “Bag of Tricks” – a la Felix, and one wonders what those toys might be. The fact that you are telling (her) this information through a letter, speaks directly to estrangement or at the very least separation. You ask her to play with your toys, but is sounds as much of sarcasm as does the “sincerely”. I like this piece- cryptic, and it leaves me, after several readings, with nothing but the smile reminding me- yes, there is a strain...

This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-04-20 13:08:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Very interesting little piece, my favorite kind. I truly enjoy tight and concise writing. This has such a scope of emotions packed into such a small space. There is playfulness within although I sense a sadness as well, and a vunerability which we all experience when it comes to love. Really enjoyed your poem, thanks for sharing.

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