This Poem was Submitted By: April Rose Ochinang Claessens On Date: 2006-04-26 00:20:03 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Eternal Void

Melancholy cradled by the past parent to series of hopeless sighs and stares into the void… A cry for help uttered by  tiny voice of detained spirit; numb hands for poetry, almost  forsaken by inspiration of Muses.  Tears of crushed soul flow towards  eternity amidst oblivious laughter of  love birds whose wedding bells  still echo, causing more tears to  faded embrace.   In the silence of the night,  a prayer from the lips of a  haggard spirit is whispered,  longing for refreshment yet  still feeling like a  Tantalus...blessed with             fruits he can never eat             water he can never drink.  Ah, the soundless scream of  Vanity... bound by Fate and  Obscurity!  Renaissance and death of Valor  cursed by an eternal void. Note: Tantalus - Zeus's son and king of Lydia, who was honoured by the gods by being allowed to sit at their table on the Olympus. Tantalas killed his son, boiled him and served him to the gods to test them, and as a punishment he was sent to Tartarus in Hades. His destiny there was to stand in a pool be thirsty and hungry forever, above him was a tree full of fruits, but whenever he reached for it the wind blew the branches up, and when he bowed to drink the water sunk. 

Copyright © April 2006 April Rose Ochinang Claessens


This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-05-03 07:51:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75862
Hi April...this is an outstanding poem. I read your additional notes before I read the poem and could feel the desperation and sadness of in the words. I shuddered at the thought of someone being boiled and then to stand in the midst of life saving food and water without being able to partake of it is quite inconceivable. You have done your home work here and have written an unforgettable piece. I enjoyed this from beginning to end. Blessings...Marilyn


This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2006-04-28 07:07:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Interesting read, thanks for the note as it saved me looking it up, In particularly liked the last line
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-04-26 18:03:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Now you grab the depth and make the reader ponder on the story. I like this version not because of the typo but because of the flow. The ending if I recall is more complete now. Well done and a enjoyment to read the second time around. Thanks for sharing. Thomas.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-04-26 00:32:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86364
Hi April, So nice of you to repost this and gave some finishing touches. This stands more strengthened and imposing posture. I can just bow on your poetic talent here. Greek Mythology, your forte! Nothing more I can say than... "Bravo"! I am thrilled to see more of your submissions here! Jordan
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