This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-05-08 08:10:56 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
The Child Within Deep inside the
Esoteric soul
Where she lives
Resides a child who loves
The runes of life
And pretty things like
Butterfly wings
Lavender lace and a
Van Gogh sky
She invites days crimson
End With a whisper
And enfolds herself with
Cashmere counterpane
This grown up little
Girl Lingers in her
Technicolor dreams
Placing all
Perils past
|
|
Copyright © May 2006 marilyn terwilleger
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2006-06-06 11:15:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Marilyn,
This is such a fun poem!
The images within make me feel as though I am
experiencing your child within with you.
I'm so glad you posted this!
It's lovely.
I especially like:
"Butterfly wings
Lavender lace and a
Van Gogh sky"
What a wonderful image!!
Sorry I took so long to respond.
It's been a hard month for participating.
But I wanted you to know I truly do enjoy this work.
Blessings,
Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2006-05-22 12:59:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Dear Marilyn,
You've done a great job with this one, very good write. It holds such sensitivity within it. That's what came to mind when I first read it. Clearly, the grown up girl, enjoys these moments as depicted within each stanza you've written.
Some very nice word choices make it flow in a lulling manner, and the reader feels relaxed as she reads.
No noticeable changes that I can think of. I like this, just as it is.
Good luck with this.
Sincerely,
Denimari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-05-16 11:18:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
This is so true isn't it..the innocence of childhood, pity how some let the inner child in them die, I fight everyday to keep mine alive, for she was the one who truly knew the beauty of the world and could appreciate it, and be grateful for the little and most important. I am glad that you can linger my friend. This is well written and gives a clear picture of where the child resides in all of us.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-05-09 10:05:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Merilyn,
What a deliciously easy flowing romantic read. True to the Victorian era, this should be framed with roses and white lace to accompany it. The ying and yang of life so clearly shows through in this accomplished writing, thank you for sharing this pearl with us. I can find no nit with this and would not change a thing.
Best always,
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-05-08 15:47:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Hi Marilyn,
This is cute and has a very feminine countenance. With this poem, I can somehow see the personality of the author; mild and sober and full of dreams. Realizing the child within oneself is recognizing the nurturing of a mother and so putting God to be in the front. Your descriptions are just wonderful and so colorful and give us a picturesque visions.
Thank you for sharing!
Jordan
PS...Congratulations on the your poem last month. This is a new beginning and a new challenge for us here in TPL.
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link
Click HERE to
return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!