This Poem was Submitted By: stephen g skipper On Date: 2006-05-23 13:35:43 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Orchids of the Imagination
Who better to send before us
On life’s greatest adventure
Than a gardener of thoughts
Because with careful attention
To the nurture of our nature
A truly exotic bloom can be grown
A flower so created by such
A delicate touch, a gentle breath
And a beautiful mind
Rhythm would be her roots
Words her buds, poems her petals
Understanding her sweet nectar
Full of the joy of a daisy
All the eloquence of a lily
With the commanding presence of a rose
Flawed yet perfect
Frail yet strong
Simple yet profound
A poets soul travelling as light
To a worthy place in
The Eden of our dreams
Mell, gone but still loved.
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Copyright © May 2006 stephen g skipper
Additional Notes:
Mell's friendship meant/means alot to me and quite a few of us here. (I hope not to offend, I couldnt send flowers so i tried to write one)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-06-08 23:02:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Steve,
Sorry I didn't get to this sooner however illness has kept me away for quite a bit. This is a wonderful tribute to Mell and I agree with you. You have created the perfect flower here and I'm sure she would love it.
Warmest always,
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-06-06 17:10:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I love it! I love the way your words touch each other ever so gently. I do see something that you might consider; such a tiny little thing, but that is after all what flowers are made of.
May I suggest that your truely exotic bloom might be 'opened' instead of 'grown'? Or perhaps 'recognized'? etc...
Some flowers do appear to 'grow' blooms (sunflowers for instance)but the romance of the bloom is when it 'just happens' one night while you are sleeping.
Thank you for sharing this lovely tribute. With only a little effort, I have suckled with nature. Thank you!
To truely offer my critique by defining the structuring, I must admit the flow and the rhythm might be a bit jagged. You might consider line length and punctuation for a real make-over. But be careful not to lose the natural beauty of this poem.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-06-05 06:21:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
You have created a beauty Stephen. This is so tender and lovely and blooms with love and understanding. Flowers eventually die, your words will remain, sweetly etched. I love the ideas behind this write, they are vivid and the metaphore is exceptionally done. There is no possible way you could offend, you have written a whole bouquet of emotion and feeling.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-05-27 15:53:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77273
Hi Steve,
This is so touching and really depicting Mell's presence. Your words are just beautiful so are Mell's. She has put up herself a monument in us that would be cherished forever through her being a gardener of thoughts.
Rhythm would be her roots
Words her buds, poems her petals
Understanding her sweet nectar
My favorite stanza which is the ultimate countenance of Mell. Thank you so much for sharing this with us!
Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2006-05-24 21:24:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Steve,
You haven't offended. Good heavens, you've made my day. You are able to give poetic
form to your appreciation of Mell's friendship and mentorship to those of us who
were part of her life on this website. It's a lovely poem, and I am so overwhelmed
at the moment that I can't give the feedback that I want to give, but nevertheless,
please accept my appreciation for your elegant words for her.
Who better to send before us
On life’s greatest adventure
Than a gardener of thoughts
Yes, she goes before us, and meets JoAnne Morgan along the path, as well as Doug Shy.
I love it that you make us into a group of souls who have agreed to 'send before us'
one of our beloved. And as she featured flowers so often in her poetry, a 'gardener
of thoughts' -- so beautifully stated.
Because with careful attention
To the nurture of our nature
A truly exotic bloom can be grown
I love this - what to say? It is the careful attention that is most needed. As you know,
as I know, how tender we are...
A flower so created by such
A delicate touch, a gentle breath
And a beautiful mind
Ah! A 'beautiful mind' is so reminiscent of Mell's essence; perhaps the only way we really know
one another here -- and her effects were pervasive.
Rhythm would be her roots
Words her buds, poems her petals
Understanding her sweet nectar
You capture all of the imagery and the auditory effects here. I know that she would
appreciate all of what you've written, but might deny or shrug away the 'sweet nectar'
because she could be acerbic, but those of us who knew her love accepted that as another
of her gifts.
Full of the joy of a daisy
All the eloquence of a lily
With the commanding presence of a rose
I love it! The symbolism of each of these flowers relates beautifully to Mell. The
'rose behind her ear' is one of the lasting images she left, and I don't know if you
were here at the time that she wrote of this. Ah, yes, 'commanding' is very suitable.
Flawed yet perfect
Frail yet strong
Simple yet profound
All of these things, Steve. How well you have stated it. And how close I feel that she
is in our remembrance of her.
A poets soul travelling as light
To a worthy place in
The Eden of our dreams
Ah, you capture the essence of Mell, I believe, in her willingness to lead, as a soul
of light, as a poet. And my hope is to reunite with her once more, in that 'Eden' in
which we will all be light beings.
Thank you for writing this - it is a balm to me, in so many ways, and so very welcome.
And I am certain that it will be greatly appreciated by everyone who reads, whether or
not they respond with a critique. Bravo~!
My best always,
Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-05-23 14:15:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.66667
Stephen,
This brought tears to my eyes...how absolutely beautiful a bouquet you've created!
Rhythm would be her roots
Words her buds, poems her petals
Understanding her sweet nectar
[simply wonderfully put]
And flower and attributes great too!
Your poem is the best...#1.
Mell will always be loved, thank you Stephen.
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