This Poem was Submitted By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-06-24 22:40:53 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
Rhythm of Romance A lovely sunset
a glass of chablis
the ring of fine crystal
as you toast me.
The air is perfumed
our steaks are just right.
I admire again, the look
in your eyes tonight.
A hint of salvation
as you wink at me
I squirm in anticipation
of what you may mean.
The candles are burning
I think, at both ends
you reach under the table
and take hold of my hand.
The waiter delivers a
special bouquet of flowers
the musicians play the songs
that we now call ours.
~~`~~`~~`~~
Our meal being done
you ask me to dance
I'm swept off my feet
the rhythm of romance!
~~`~~`~~`~~
These are the things
I dream of at night
with you at my side
still holding me tight.
The years have slowed
your dance to a tap
but the rhythm of romance
keeps building up.
Your age has stolen
your youthful look
but not the love
or the vows we took.
~~`~~`~~`~~
The rhythm of this romance
has such a lovely cadence...
thank you for everything tonight my dear
...after all these years..
...let's dance!..... |
|
Copyright © June 2006 Ellen K Lewis
Additional Notes:
A rewrite from several years ago. The tempo is uneven-unless you read it like a song...thanks for looking!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-07-03 05:48:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
this is a light little write, moves pretty well along in this approperiately simply chosen language. I like the ideas behind this, the simple things in life, no frills etc. just the journey of relationship over the years. I have one suggestion for you Ellen. the term "swept off my feet" is an over used term, I think I would try for something else here, but that is just me. I really like your repeative line "rythm of romance" it goes so well with the theme of the dance, and worked really well. Nice metaphore as well..
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-07-02 17:48:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.37500
Ellen,
Simply lovely............you are so blessed.
So very few are!
I like your bit of rhyming/right tonight/look took.........
It is an affirmative piece of living love.
Which gives us all hope!
Life is a dance and today you took first place!
Good job of sharing your joy.
Title's good also.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-06-26 19:47:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92000
Ellen,
Very soft and intimate. I wouldn't dare to take this apart line by line for in the doing it would loose it's appeal, it's kiss of romance, your hearts song. Thank you for sharing with us and allowing us into your world for just a moment. How blessed, to have a love that has withstood time, and to still feel a bit giddy when with the one you love. *smile*, very nicely done, not a nit here.
Best always,
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2006-06-25 18:41:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Ellen...what a wonderful romantic sensual tale you weave for us here. And, yes...I can very well imagine this to music. The elegant, yet simplistic verbiage (any more would be too much and detract from the immense meaning of this) are perfection, and the flow is smooth despite the "uneven" meter. Subtle rhymeing is superb. I have tingles for ya, my friend. Love the title, as well. Thanks for sharing this heartfelt read, my friend. I so enjoyed it. :)
Always,
Mary
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2006-06-25 04:07:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.72727
Hi Ellen,
This is so sweet! I like every line you put in here. So abundant of love and yes the rhythm of romance is perfectly depicted. From the start all the way, you gave us imageries surely make man and a woman live happily ever after!
Thanks for sharing this with. More...please! (smile)
Jordan
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link
Click HERE to
return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!