This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-07-02 16:56:25 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Within a scale

Power, knowledge of facts, completion of a goal without fear A side of the spectrum Selfish, no concern, me, me, me… Social looking for acceptance, needing understanding, looking for familiar surroundings A facet of the spectrum Inward looking, placing one above others… Structure, without deviation, no alternatives selected, outcome doesn’t matter  A boundary of the spectrum Robotic, without thinking just following a path without thought… Analytical, evaluating all things around, never reaching the end Without limit to the spectrum Depth never reached; surface the only real encounter, lost in spirit… Each is a form of the person that withdraws from life’s nutrients Never accepting the inevitable, with open arms…

Copyright © July 2006 Thomas H. Smihula


This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-07-30 13:33:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Thomas, There is high/low, up/down, aand in between on the spectrum.. We are a bit of this, a bit of that and some of everything. And yes rarely do we completely surrender to the inevitable......death. Life's nutrients are what? food, water, air, spirit? I think you could explain your meaning a bit more? But then again this enigma may be the purpose? Thought filled as usual Thomas.... Keep them coming. My best Dellena


This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2006-07-30 10:23:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Tom, Ouch. This is scathing and right on. I predict people will either love or hate this piece, depending on how well we are able to take it, when we see ourselves within these lines and whether we can recognize and deal with the truth of it. Very well done , Tom, I always enjoy a little delving. Even if it makes me say ouch, it also makes us grow. Thanks for this one. And don't take it too hard if others don't like it. Very hardhitting and well written. Best, Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-07-09 20:30:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Thomas, Just wanted to let you know I stopped by and read your work. I'm so sorry that I can't give you any help with this one. Unfortunately I came away confused and not at all sure of your intent, it left me with the feeling that you were more rambling than playing connect the dots. I apologize for not being able to give you input and wish you the best with this work. Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2006-07-03 08:54:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
You know, Smihula, I never realized how much your "poetry" sucks before? Although you do get some consideration for trying to hold up the pissing post for dear old Arnie. Getting back to your stumbling efforts, I usually don't comment on or visit such excrement as this but when the "Muse" has been prostituted to this degree, it's almost mandatory. Yes, I did say I would not critique voluntarily. However, I feel, in your own indefagitable way, you asked for this. Now, Grasshopper, you just might dust the neglect off your dictionary and look up the word, churl. Combine that with "womanish" and you have the imaginative graphics of an overfed self-indulgent wearing a rubber nose (and in the background a nice lady packing out the door with her belongings) and one big parasitic worm hanging out the ass. Now that you've graduated from assassinating poems superior to yours (most are)to attempting to do the same to people's opinion of others, you must invest in an idiot's guide to defamation. You might find it where you obtained that copy of, An Idiot's Guide to Poetry Pretense. Have a nice day, JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-07-02 20:59:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Power, knowledge of facts, completion of a goal without fear A side of the spectrum Selfish, no concern, me, me, me… (do you really see it that way? as a selfish act? I think you could shorten your first line: Power, knowledge, and completion of a goal without fear (it says the ssame thing but flows better?) *** Social looking for acceptance, needing understanding, looking for familiar surroundings Can you use another word for 'looking' on one part of this sentence; rather than using it twice? ******** Robotic, without thinking just following a path without thought… some of these words are redundant; they all mean the same thing without shedding any new light...I don't want to offer too much or I could change your meaning, but you might look deeper into that line. **** Analytical, evaluating all things around, never reaching the end>>>depicts intelligent thinking Without limit to the spectrum Depth never reached; surface the only real encounter, lost in spirit.>>>wow. that's a great line!. *** Each is a form of the person that withdraws from life’s nutrients.>>profound thought! **** Never accepting the inevitable, with open arms…>>good ending too! I like this work. I think it needs a little clarification of a few points. But the author clearly shows talent in dipicting this scene with very vivid images. I likie the idea of showing different 'spectrums' of a personality. The analytical and evaluating kind of throws me off. It seems to be the only point of the spectum that really doesn't fit the character. Of course that is only one opinion, from only one reader. Just a few thoughts on a poem of such deep conscienceness that I am astounded by it! Very nice, poet. I like it. Smiles to you, Ellen
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