This Poem was Submitted By: Brandon Gene Petit On Date: 2006-07-09 07:52:53 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Beyond Summer

Patience greeted with summer's end A welcome change unfolding its hand The incoming fall veneers its craft An entity ending a cycle of sleep Cold air leaks in over the hills As geese give chase to a distant warmth Leaves awash with a colorful death Prepare to make their graceful descent Treetops blasted with puzzling hues Squarely displayed in a dark-watered pond The flank of an old barn frosted with vines The frame of an old car sunken in mud Pumpkins color a shady churchyard Varied in size like legions of kin Coated figures inhabit the street side Heads held down against the gales A tarnished statue rooted in stone Stands in the shade of molting branches Whirlwinds fraught with nervous leaves Scurry about its humble slab An old man sweeps the library steps A jogger follows a cloud of breath Children's banter fills an alley Noon light dims on an empty schoolyard Darkness grows between the trees Perception marked by lingering fireflies Purple clouds so gently smeared Where jet streams scar a tinted sky Stars begin to reveal their light As homes reply with glowing windows People ease their way indoors Burning the logs that spice the air Schools and banks now black inside A full moon paints the sparkling street Details soft under ebony veil The canvas cleared for a glimpse of winter

Copyright © July 2006 Brandon Gene Petit

Additional Notes:
Appears in my new poetry collection "Intrinsic Desires". Availble throuhg most online retailers, or order it from you rlocal bookstore. ISBN: 1420891995


This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2006-08-05 09:02:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Brandon , this is very well laid out piece, with imagry that pops for this reader and as well as nostalgic as far as remembering my childhood when I had time to watch the world scurry by. You've given coined some unusual phrases that add to the piece. For instance, "Whirlwinds fraught with nervous leaves Scurry about its humble slab", just as an example. I enjoyed this one. My best, Jennifer


This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-07-10 11:54:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81818
Hi, Brandon. This is great! I love the fall the best and I can't wait for it to wake up. A couple of your lines are so awesome: Pumpkins color a shady churchyard Varied in size like legions of kin Whirlwinds fraught with nervous leaves A jogger follows a cloud of breath Those are unique, to say the least! Treetops blasted with puzzling hues....puzzling? I don't know. Seems like another word could have been better, but it's just a thought. Squarely displayed ....just another thought. The word squarely sort of jumped out at me. In short, I think that verse could have been omited. I know that no one likes to hear that. But you have a good quality piece and it deserves to have no wasted words or unnecessary thoughts. I think the hardest thing for a good poet is to know when to quit. I know I am guilty of that. Remember now, I am just giving my lowly opinion of a great poem. Thanks for the reminder of the lovely times ahead! Peace, Ellen
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-07-10 08:22:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Brandon...this poem sings to me! I write a good deal about nature and I do wish I had written this! Your imagery is detailed and lovely....I had no trouble placing myself inside this scene. Written in free verse with an easy flow and paints a plethora of pictures in the mind of this reader. I kept thinking, as I read, that you couldn't maintain the level of descriptors throughout but you did and they are wonderful. The entire poem as a soft and sleepy feel to it which lulls the reader into a serenity. I wish I could pick a favorite line or phrase but when I try I can't as they are all stunning. Well done and I'm glad to see you posting here again! Peace....Marilyn
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