This Poem was Submitted By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-08-03 21:09:31 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Comfort
While in this peaceful
time of maiden dawn
my inner child awakes
to calm with song
of rhythms past, she lulls
my aging heart’s lament
in lullabies that tinge
with still intent.
For as she brings
her wisdom to my soul
from innocence to
fading youth unfolds
and springs alive a heart
that beats less bold.
She summons me to
dance about, be free
to celebrate each day
that's given me.
As she lifts my heart
with songs from early spring
and urges me to stand
again to sing.
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Copyright © August 2006 Nancy Ann Hemsworth
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2006-08-18 21:26:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Nancy--In my opinion, this write speaks to an epiphany which has called for a
revivial of spirit: a return to quality of life verses just getting by or being
static;
"She summons me to
dance about, be free
to celebrate each day
that's given me.
As she lifts my heart
with songs from early spring
and urges me to stand
again to sing."
Vivid imagery created by this enticing verbiage with excellent subtle rhymes.
An affable and uplifting work. Sorry if I've misstated your intent. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-08-13 18:48:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Nancy,
I read this yesterday and it haunted me.
I could have written your thoughts as mine.
You sing of rebirth/growth/maturity/wisdom/clarity/courage.
I feel so proud of you because I've also learned.
And yet I still stumble bumble along.
This poem is filled with joy.
The rhyming and alliterations is perfectly wonderful! [dawn/song lament/intent unfolds/souls/bold]
The whole of the piece is a statement of accepting yourself.
Hooray!
Happy Day!
Loved it!
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2006-08-12 15:58:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Nancy,
I really love this piece, very nicely done. It's got a sing song quality, in the rhyming pattern,
and deep meaning as your character - knows how to freely express themself, and wants others to break free too.
This poem is uplifting, as "comfort" should be, yet sad at the same time, with "she lulls
my aging heart’s lament in lullabies that tinge with still intent."
Your second verse is my favorite in this piece, love the word choice of "she brings wisdom to my soul",
as the reader finds this write a great lesson to be learned.
Well done.
sincerely,
Denimari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-08-12 10:57:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Nancy,
Such power is such a delicate ambrosia of words and thoughts. Here you've given a cloud this reader will be reluctant to dismount. Somewhat sad and even in disenchantment the promise of hope and celebration of the triumph of spirit rings clear.
Namaste',
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2006-08-06 10:53:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Nancy, this is wonderfully written. Left me feeling so calm and serene. I love how you structured this so that we could ponder each beautiful expression. It's such a positive and hopeful piece. Stunning in its simplicity, and imagery. I adore the ending, too. You leave the reader anxiously awaiting the chance to, once again, "stand and sing" of its wonder. I found it both creative and refreshing to read. Thanks for sharing this beautiful piece, Nancy. I so enjoyed this one from you. *big smiles* Brava!
Warmly,
Mary
This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul R Lindenmeyer On Date: 2006-08-04 08:42:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Nancy,
the personification of title shines thru this piece. Short and easy to read adds to the appeal and the ending verbiage is uplifting. The pace is well thought out, with only a slight variation in the first verse. Perhaps it might be looked at, "of rythms past she lulls my aging heart's lament". The work is pleasing to the eye in layout and spoken from the heart. Thanks for submitting the work. My best, peace Paul
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