This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2006-08-28 21:07:52 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Therapy minus thirty six minutes Today I'll take you down to lie beside
the magma, plaunge your fist in boiling tar
shatter your pencil against my blank hide,
count down to show you who we really are.
Can you stare down this nova? Your carbon
withstand this earth and raise to gaudify
your mistress' throat? Or are you Audobon
in the luxurious prairie, gadfly
upon the carcasses of our nature?
What would you offer me? Dull string theories
for the play of fate? Majiscules' rapture
over the Son of Man? Dullard reveries
to bind me to my mirror longer still?
My medicine is me, and keeps me ill. |
|
Copyright © August 2006 Mark Andrew Hislop
Additional Notes:
Written in the thirty six minutes before today's therapy session.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-08-29 15:17:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.71875
Mark,
Well gees, you've done more in thirty six minutes than most of us do in thirty six hours however when the muse strikes one must follow.
They say that strong emotions create opportunity to create, anger, hatred, fear, love etc. Your piece offers us a view into your anger, your rage leaving me feel that you feel somewhat helpless to extricate yourself from that anger or the object that is causing it. Perhaps the writing is your way of dealing with, channel it and use it for you have a gift with words and thoughts; let the anger drive your muse and perhaps it will help to purge.
Many of us understand how "My medicine is me, and keeps me ill.", this can be so overly true with both scripts and other medication... a circle so hard to break free of, I hope no I pray you find the support when/where/from whom you need it so that you can continue to cope, to free yourself of your albatrose.
Very strong,poignant writing that can leave the reader chilled to the bone. I could find no nit with your accomplished pen.
Best always,
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2006-08-29 13:20:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86667
Oh my. INsight...remember...I am a therapist and can read a lot into this...however I will not offer advice.
This piece testifies to the feelings and nature of and before therapy. To equate plunging (watch your spelling here)your fist into the boiling magma certainly bespeaks of the nature of therapy. It is very very painful until you come out the other side so to speak. I wonder what type and nature of therapist you have. What theoretical school does he/she follow? I like the dull string theories part but I doubt if that is the case. Your medicine MY be you...yes...BUT in that there is healing. Acceptance and denial have a large part to play in therapy as well as learning new things about ones self that was afraid to explore before for fear of being hurt.
I really hope it works well for you. The magic solution is in you. Keep well my friend and thanks for letting me explore that avenue with you.
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-08-28 23:20:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mark....You might have written this in thirty six minutes but it is better than most could write in thrity six days. To me this poem is laced with anger that seems to be engulfing you and will not relent.
the magma, plaunge your fist in boiling tar
shatter your pencil against my blank hide,.....the anger is paramount in these lines...so much so that they
are chilling to me.
to bind me to my mirror longer still?
My medicine is me, and keeps me ill............these lines make me sad...the pathos is overwhelming. There
have been times in my life when I know I obsessed until I
made myself ill...it is not all that hard to do. The
difficult part is stopping the behavior.
I'm glad your back and hope you will stay...perhaps your catharsis will be in writing.
Hugs...Mazza
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