Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-10-18 13:49:13 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

About Love

I lie in comfort of your arms succumbing to your blissful charms The bill and cooing of a turtledove held still within our splendrous love I swoon to sounds of a chanticleer praying you'll always keep me near But restless hearts may crave to roam like churning sea that stirs its foam A rose hangs heavy on the stem but to dispetal is a sin So hearken to sweet tunes of the flute and walk with me in woods of fruit When clouds coat evening's amethyst cradle me in passion's lavender mist

This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-10-31 10:37:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
As always, this poem is another fine piece which includes vibrant pictures and emphasis on the colors of nature. A rose hangs heavy on the stem but to dispetal (it) is a sin I mention that only because it seems to be one line that feels cut off. Another thing I noticed is The bill and cooing of a turtledove held still within our splendrous love ....could be 'holds spellbound' or somehow to imply that it becomes a part of the moment, rather than a seperation from it. I like it! Your style of writing is to be praised. Thank you for sharing! Ellen

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2006-10-27 21:58:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
marilyn--Hark! I peruse the hyperboles expressing the one emotion that is illogical and unreasonal, but attainable (though enigmatic). Vivid imagery of idealistic/romantic relationship between couples is inferenced in speaker's offering. Verbiage combined with fresh end rhymes create the mushy stuff we all wish someone would feel/ say/promise for us-smile. I like it! TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2006-10-22 19:23:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.20000
Mazza dearest You lift me up, oh-o ... ... but not this time, sweety. Structure, rhyme ... yep, good things. But look, overall I'm gonna have to use a nasty word, one that I'd prefer not to, but it is the only one that sums up the case. This is cliched, Mazza girl, from top to bottom. The one thing that sounds new is 'dispetal', which is a nice coinage. But other than that ... See what happens when you write something like "Whispers"? You set the bar for yourself pretty high! Hugs Mark.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-10-22 17:04:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn, A wonderful passionate love lost. But restless hearts may crave to roam like churning sea that stirs its foam [In any relationship/they will part] A rose hangs heavy on the stem [the loss/the memories dispetaled] but to dispetal is a sin [but living today won't discredit/devalue/betray yesterday! The rose for the love of living mustn't hang heavy. A lovely stirring, sad, poem of loss. I could cry of loss forever but it does me nor anyone any good. So I had to move on and my loss affects my every moment. As does yours.....So sorry for your endless pain. Loved it. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2006-10-18 17:54:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Wow Marilyn this is soooooooo beautiful, so full of love, passion, images and a feeling of forever......thanks for posting, sharing and God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2006-10-18 15:15:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Marilyn, What memories this brings - signing on, finding poems to critique! I love romantic poems. This is definitely a poem for those old-fashioned hearts and flowers and soft music evenings. I enjoyed your rhymes and meter, but it's the sentiment that appeals to me most. I lie in (the)comfort of your arms succumbing to your blissful charms The bill and cooing of a turtledove held still within our splendrous love I swoon to sounds of a chanticleer praying you'll always keep me near But restless hearts may crave to roam like churning sea that stirs its foam A rose hangs heavy on the stem -- great metaphor here but to dispetal is a sin "dispetal" is an unusual word - it gives an impression So hearken to sweet tunes of the flute --if you omit "the" it would keep the tetrameter and walk with me in woods of fruit When clouds coat evening's amethyst cradle me in passion's lavender mist The colors are lovely. The narrator asks the one to whom she speaks (or sings) to stay with her, comforting and cradling her with passion. There's a sweet sadness about this, for as your poem shows us, at times "restless hearts may crave to roam." It's a very enjoyable read. Makes me glad I came back! Best to you, Joanne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2006-10-18 13:58:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Marilyn, Marlowe wakes to the trump . . . as Sappho. Who'd a thunk? Maybe only Marlowe. :) Cheers, MSS Nice to be back in this saddle.

Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!