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This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2006-10-18 20:29:52 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Pollen

I think I am the clumsiest of bees because I’m drunk with it. Dandelions, supernovae of the sidewalk, startle me into them. There’s no hell, I can’t drown without seeing paradise. My honey swells on a diet of community.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2006-11-05 06:34:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Mine? Well it swells on a diet of else. Which grew poorly this year, what with the heat. tew

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-10-23 09:41:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Hi Mark....I have read this poem everyday since you posted it. There is something about it that is so compelling and I know it is not about bees...I will be very surprised if you tell me it is. The phrases I like the best are....I'm drunk with it" and supernovae of the sidewalk, startle me into them. The little bit of gray matter I have left tells me you are speaking about life. There have been times in my life (especially when I was told I only had 3 to 6 months to live) that I was drunk with life...every day was a miracle to me. Yes, I was startled every time I woke up in the morning. So this poem does remind me of that time. So that is my take on this write and I'm sure others will get something entirely different from your words. Whatever you do just keep writing and teasing me with your words. lotsa....Mazza

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-10-20 19:09:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mark, You old pollinator you...... And the more you pollinate the better! Watch yourself you will become addicted. Your honey swells allright. you tickled my fancy. You Bumble bee, you. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2006-10-19 08:26:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I'm going to share, what I haven't before, on my theory for a new movement among poets. Because, in that theater this poem would find enduring success. Let's call this, the poet's theater of anti-form. As has, I'm certain, been noted, I tend to mock form. Am I lazy? Am I just mean and nasty? (of course, and I'd like to state, these questions do not cover all possibility for I might certainly be lazy, mean and nasty on other scores...if not this one.) Be that as it may. No, here I'm not being lazy, mean or nasty. I taking on the problem all poets have if they address how cumbersome form can become and how it can detract from the beauty of the poem by making the poet look more contriving than needs be. A good example is a poem just posted that even goes so far as to place its refrain at the beginning of several stanzas. As if some magical incantation were being performed that could turn its soapy romanticism into something more. All because we, as poets, are not clearly defining anything about our genre for this new and original niche we must carve out for ourselves. Form/structure can have tremendous use to a poet, no question of it. But, and I say this retaining all regard for the superb craftsmanship so many traditionalists have employed with it, there are places to go by disregarding it when appropriate to context. In fact, leveling it sometimes in order to "pronounce" the significance elsewhere. You don't know what you started by just beginning new lines in this wonderful little piece all over the place, "drunk with it". Superb, Mark. I hope you will work on a collection of your work under some common theme or regional emphasis and seek a publisher. It is time. JCH

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2006-10-18 23:54:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
For those who have allergies certainly do associate with this one.........Pollen, good title for it causes no doubt .......its either got you or not..........pollen that is.....got to admit those bees certainly do go after the nectar and even at this time of the year with the changing of seasons and colder temperatures you can still find those bees and hornets sucking away like there is no tomorrow. Gramma used to pick those dandelions and make soup out of them, YUK......memories should be fun.......nicely done and thanks for posting, God Bless, Claire

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