This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-10-19 14:20:12 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Very Bad Things The ogres awoke in black of night
Streets rolled up in craven fright
They crawled on ugly wrinkled shins
And curled ghastly lipless grins
Then stood upon cloven feet
Filled swollen bellies with red meat
Spit the bones and wiped their chins
Thus sat down on pumpkin skins
Starless sky of Halloween
Fell on ogres dressed in green
They spat on gold rising sun
All the ogres each and every one
Bugaboo be gone, I say
Or die in the light of day
Evil be damned in shadow’s mind
Despised by all human kind
Slimy demons do shrink in fear
And skulk away until next year
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Copyright © October 2006 marilyn terwilleger
Additional Notes:
Happy Halloweeney
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2006-10-27 21:25:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
marilyn--Even though this write conjures up morbid images, the
couplets are humorous and entertaining. All the ghastly elements
employed in this timely/seasonal work. Scribe's theme is carried
well by the title, language and tone: the naunces of "Halloweeney"
is written all over this offering. Outstanding! teafor2
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-10-25 14:05:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
It's great to see someone who writes about the things and events of today. I'm not a fan of holloweenies and would ban the whole celebration if I could! So it's no surprise as to my favorite line-
Evil be damned in shadow’s mind
Despised by all human kind
But this also is a striking line-
They crawled on ugly wrinkled shins
And curled ghastly lipless grins....good vivid images
Spit the bones and wiped their chins
Thus sat down on pumpkin skins.......this gave me goosebumps!
It's a great poem. I really like it. I am curious about the word 'skulk'..?..
THANKS FOR THE TREAT!
Ellen
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2006-10-20 09:55:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn, what terrible imagery to apply to our own sweet little children!!!
teh heh
Well placed rhyme, with its scheme well crafted. Close observance of meter
and a mutually appreciated tribute to my favorite time of year. If only I didn't
live on a cul de sac, so far back that children seldom bang at my door with
jack-o-lantern. The few that do, however, get loaded up on what the others have
missed. There's somekind of metaphor in there somewhere.
Some of the largest hawks I have seen, perhaps they are eagles, have begun
roosting in my cottonwood at night. They sound like fox running through briars
when they take off. That's not going to help much, either.
JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-10-19 19:48:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Marilyn,
Happy Haloween to you!
If only bugaboos left that easily!
Cute poem, with fun factors.
Scarey.....! Oh my yes!
enjoyed the meat eater line, I'm becoming vegetarian/vegan.
Isn't it great to be back here in full swing.
My best your way.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2006-10-19 18:51:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
And in the darknest shinneth the Everlasting Light.........Once again you have presented us with ghostly tales of things to come this Halloween.........I am so hoping this is the year my grandbabies come dressed up to frighten their little old memere here alone in the woods of Tully............The parades are scheduled for children to dress up and show off their ghostly tales of things to be and even the most fearful of oldies will shrink in fear when they come near.......good structure, great word flow, images galore and best of all you put the demons away before the end of night......thanks for posting and please know your gifts are always welcome......God Bless, Claire
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