This Poem was Submitted By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-10-22 05:48:43 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Ode To A Raging Sea I feel your anger gash upon the shore
Your waves at first a splash upon my soul
And now, not gentle as before
In raging onward, fury takes it toll.
I was only, but a little child at play
That day you lapped so gently at my feet
My heart leapt freely in your spray
How could I know the gall in your deceit.
Unfeeling and maligned, your vengeance stormed
Until a calming voice was heard below
“Peace be still”, it whispered as it mourned
Those souls released, their love once more bestowed. |
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Copyright © October 2006 Nancy Ann Hemsworth
Additional Notes:
This is a co-write I have written with my friend Caroline Smith after we stood on The Bay of Fundy's Shore in St. Martin's New Brunswick, Canada and watch the fury of the waves smaching on the rocky coast line..such power and fury to witness..and such beauty and awe they bestow in the soul.
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2006-11-03 20:11:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mindful of Poe's short story, The Fall of the House of Mesingerstein, sound is
a most relentless aspect of Nature's force. Personifying it with the traits of
mankind or, at least, of the Gods, well impacts its presence among us.
"Gash upon the shore" is a well thought euphemism for the erosion of tide in
its menace to shoreline, while, the contrast, "lapped so gently at my feet,"
a clever parallel with the ambivalence in ourselves.
But in the line, "How could I know the gall in your deceit", a contradiction is
found in the last verse where you indeed tell us how, "Those souls released, their
love once more bestowed". Is it, rather than deceit, these forces are the
instrument of collective soul force displayed through Nature? That the symbiosis
we have with her, at least in the eye/perceptions, is more than a mere aspect of
our awareness?
And that, in some way, the elements do not answer solely to the command of Moses?
Your poem suggests these flights and such flights may have been once the province
of temple cities and layered ziggarets that stepped their way towards the domains
where we might think such things are decided.
Or, perhaps your Muse is tapping genetic knowledge.
JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2006-10-27 20:56:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Nancy--This poignant write speaks to all the nuances of nature's
fascinating seas. Historically, they have been many things to hu-
manity and not all good, but herein lies the enigmaticism: the power
of their fury and conversely, their calm and beauty. Speaker has
presented verbiage that is picturesque and rhymes which are sonorous.
Written by ones who love the water. Nothing needed. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-10-24 21:59:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hello, Nancy. I've read some of your work before! I think you did a great job on this. The first verse is the best (in my opinion). In the 2nd verse I stumbled a bit over the last line.
How could I know the gall in your deceit.
Maybe if you could emphasize the 'how could I know'?? I think it's the word gall that gets me. Maybe---
How could I have known the 'swell of your deceit'? Just a thought. But I do like your conveyance; like the deep sea you share your depth of feeling. It comes off very well. Thanks for sharing!
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-10-22 13:44:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
Hi Nancy....you have written a plethora of phrases that evoke beautiful images in my mind. I love the sea (however, I am land locked) and when I go to the coast to visit I spend as much time as possible by the sea. It can be so scary with its crashing waves but at the same time that which scares us is also very powerful and intriguing. Which also explains your poem. You have personalized this poem wich makes it even more powerful. You mention the "calming voice" but do not tell us who was speaking....just the sea or someone else? I love the intrigue and mystery this question poses. Wonderful poem with clear and excellent word choices. Bravo
Blessings....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-10-22 13:11:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Nancy,
Quite lovely.
Mother Nature's bounty is awe inspiring to me.
The power so controled by forces of such magnitude!
And calm can come back so peacfully too.
You've personalized it/internalized it to show your emotion.
good job!
Gnash instead of nash.....
You've shared your trip to a Bay I may never see except through your eyes.
Wonderful!
Happy day
Dellena
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