This Poem was Submitted By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-10-24 21:48:00 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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I Live Outdoors dot nut

Once upon a tiny dream an answer came to me. I gave up my mundane house to live in an RV.    ~~*~~ Yes, it is easy to imagine that l could live here forever. Only minor nuiances, forcing me to act and react to follow and to lead, to work and to dream yes, I could stay here for a very long time driving myself to live life to it's fullest. Yes it's true, what has been said I have a screw loose in my head I was well trained and now I'm half drained but here I go, starting something new again. It's becoming more and more comfortable and though it is all new to me I dote myself with timeless thoughts of how happy life can be. And I've become a natural bride,  a flower child still on the inside my tank half empty, or is it half full? I'm having so much fun that I really can't tell.          ~~*~~ Once upon a pipe dream now in truth and no smoke screens I am happy to be outside on the inside.
Copyright © October 2006 Ellen K Lewis

Additional Notes:
I bought an RV this past Sept. This was born of that. (smile)

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-10-30 15:34:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Hi Ellen....what a humorous poem that is such a delight to read! So you are now a bonafide RV'er? I don't know if I would be that brave....would need to take someone with me for back up. I smiled all the way through this poem...having read it more than once just because I get such a kick out of it! I can't pick a favorite line or phrase as I love them all. well done....good for you! Blessings....Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-10-26 19:32:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Ellen, My daughter divoriced/bought a fifth wheel/[polar edition], than froze all winter, with propane up the kazoo...in spokane, wa. same dream as you.she's 47yrs. old. my hats off to you to 'dare' to do something outside the bx1 Good for you, hope it works out famously! I'd go with you if I could......... Your poem, fun, and daringly delightful. Good to hear from you, keep em coming. Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2006-10-26 18:34:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Ellen, Congrats on the RV !! Thanks alos for responding to my poem 'scavenger'. I shall respond shortly. There is a clear sense of elation in this piece and the flow has a very bubbly feel. You convey the feeling of excitement effectively. My suggestion would be to make your structure more consistent. For example, verse 2 does not synchronize with the sland and full rhyme schemes of the other verses. Furthermore, even within the rhyme sequence of the other verses you might consider a more consistend beat...unless you intentionally have it this way to add to the pep and buzz. A small typo in verse 2 liine 2 - nuiances ( i just checked with dictionary.com but let me know if I am wrong). I've always believed that the most important attribute to poetry would be it ability to convey emotion and the emotion conveyed here is filled with spirit...almost like a joy-ride. Looking forward to more. DUane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2006-10-25 09:42:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Delightful, Ellen. We lived once as children finding so much sense of self- management in a big box disgarded after delivering a TV set or refrigerator. It was our own, determined by us where to be placed, decorated with whatever we might choose...untidy or tidy as we had whim to decide. We, if we haven't suffered major stroke or hidden ourselves behind addiction, all retain those moments, just as do we the first Christmas tree, the first Halloween trapse. The RV is just that box on wheels...perhaps even better, in the time transpired, the grasping patterns woven into stifling adulthood. It can, as it does with you in this poem, be a song to adventurous childhood. And to the discerning it is not encapsulated by the cliche', "childish" but to the appreciation of one still open to possibilities, of where to go, and who new to take up with. Sublime with youth. JCH
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