This Poem was Submitted By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-10-27 23:00:59 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Boo Boo Said the Pumpkin I threw away the invitation-
wrung my hands with hesitation
nothing like a sip of anticipation
witches brew.
stones laid in circle formations
growing wider, eyes full of dilation
shaking off the persperation
witches chant.
Shining blade finds it's destination
sharing the blood of flirtation
waxing and waning are the mutations
demons dance.
The little lambs let out their frustrations
flapping bedsheets pretend floatation
Trick or treat, and exageration
It's all in your imagination
I threw away the invitation
won't celebrate the deviation
I'll stand naked at the door
see how many I can scare...
~~~**~~
Have a safe Halloween everybody
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Copyright © October 2006 Ellen K Lewis
Additional Notes:
Just for fun. Hope you got a hehaw out of it
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-11-01 19:41:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Ellen
you may be surprised at the perverts at your door!
Cute, fun, and it flowed quite nicely.
Rhyming good.
Enjoyed the brew/dAnce/chant/scare
I hee hawed!
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul R Lindenmeyer On Date: 2006-11-01 15:22:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Ellen,
fun holloween piece..nice alliteration, rhyme scheme works and the ending is cute...Always fun to write a little fun.....Peace, Paul
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2006-10-28 14:02:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Ellen--Firstly, scribe is complimented for using a single rhyme
through out (very difficult to substain/unstrained over a long
range-smile); secondly, for aptly including the vivid and ghastly
nuances for this timely write for one of the most popular holidays;
thirdly, a humorous and entertaining offering. A couple of nits
reference mis-spellings (which can be easily corrected);
"shaking off the persperation (perspiration)"
"Trick or treat, and exageration (exaggeration "
Sorry if I've mistated your intentions, however, I certainly enjoyed
"Boo Boo Said the Pumpkin." Thanks for this respite from the more
serious and somber works. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-10-28 13:51:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Hi Ellen....I love this Halloweeny poem! It is so much fun just to let you mind ramble and see what comes out of it. You did a fine job with this poem...it is spooky but at the same time delightful. Your last stanza is priceless....wonder how many TPL'ers will show up at your door to see if you mean business! Let me know if your nakedness garners you a lot of candy!
Best....Narilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2006-10-28 10:14:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I was wondering when you would turn the tide on the Black Sabbath.
I was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable with your seeming
familiarity with it. Disrobing and all. But that's done more in
the spring, I believe.
And you did leave out the dancing three-legged stool.
The lambs in flapping bed-sheets, yes, I'll be waiting for them.
Lady Godiva, I hope your hair will keep you warm. I'll keep
brandy for you.
JCH
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