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This Poem was Submitted By: Terrye Godown On Date: 2006-11-08 12:46:06 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Seasonal Perceptions

In tepid breaths a season dies Summer lags behind my pace unmotivated to warm me anymore The disconnection so familiar now provoked by another cloudy day in the fall of my life Maybe autumn is trying to tell me something as the dry leaves struggle to hold their vivid colors The teasing frost and the November sun engage in their yearly matches a quest for power never theirs to begin with Deciding how to unthaw its secrets winter patiently waits laced up in its rugged bootstraps shaking from my blanket of memories cinders of warm fires past the kindling of laughter and dreams Unbeknownst to all of them is their imminent demise spring wakes up as summer one day and Summer gets smothered by fall Winter unable to feel its melting backâ€¦ seasons must live by our heartbeats to leave any legacy at all

Additional Notes:
I've always wanted to try the one line, two line, three line and so on sequence. Well, now I have.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-12-04 20:12:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
and I really enjoyed it. I loved your opening line, it is delicious to read..and the metaphore is very effective indeed..the seasons of our lives, thought a well used topic you have done it justice with your wonderful word choices and this is my favorite passage.."Deciding how to unthaw its secrets winter patiently waits laced up in its rugged bootstraps shaking from my blanket of memories cinders of warm fires past the kindling of laughter and dreams" very lovely indeed..

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-12-03 17:45:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Terrye, I like it, I like it. First bits of thought expandng like opening a flower. Till the last bit encompassing it all. Lovely. A really delightful changing seasons poem showing how life flows in and out, here then gone so quickly all without us doing anything. Shaking blankets/quest for power/Summer smothered.... All of this very very poetic. Love this.. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-11-09 21:46:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Terrye, I'm so glad you tried this new style, it seems to suit you and I enjoyed reading. I think your correlations of earth's life cycle and the life cycle's of her inhabitants are so right on and so true. You've so eloquently educated us of change and the wonderful legacy that is ours if we choose to recieve it. Thank you for the privledge of allowing us to read this work. Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-11-08 19:33:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hello, poet! I really like this style on you. You have done an excellent job my friend. I think this is a very elegant and it is delightfully wise and crisp. I can't offer much for a suggestion as to improve it; so I'll tell you the only one place that I 'tripped'. Ot seems to me that in this line- winter patiently waits winter patiently (a)waits Such a mere formality it hardly seemed worth mentioning, but what can I offer a finished piece of work such as this? It's beautiful. It belongs on the wall as in one of those 'tranquility posters' etc....Thanks for sharing. I'll be looking for more from you! Ellen

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2006-11-08 18:08:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Seasons come and seasons go and it seems you have captured it all........spring, summer , fall and winter, one heartbeat into another. good structure, I do like the way you captured your lines of one, two three and more......it worked well for you within the lines of this poem. My most favorite season is Summer for I do love the warmth of it all, the smell of the flowers that blossom openly all summer long, the birds that wake me in the early morning hours, and the soil that we turn to grow vegetables to enjoy. Thanks for posting, for sharing this with us, good job. God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-11-08 15:41:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Terrye....this is a lovely poem about the changing seasons. You have employed good word choices that gives life to every line. Written in free verse (my favorite) and without punctuation which I find very effective. You nailed the one line, two line, three line sequence and made it work. I noticed you put caps on Summer and Winter but not on autumn or spring....was there a specific reason for this? Well done....write on! Blessings....Marilyn

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