This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-11-13 16:43:04 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Pleaides Poem Rude pointed drops of water
Ravish my still standing frame
Raging across a placid lake
Relentless it pounds the earth
Refusing to let calm be-known
Retreating, at last, leaving a
Rainbow to light my weary way
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Copyright © November 2006 marilyn terwilleger
Additional Notes:
This poetry form is called "pleaides." Each word of each line must begin with the same letter
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2006-12-05 03:18:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.45455
After each storm the rainbow shines as with life.......interesting piece, new form to enjoy and perhaps try. Thanks for posting and sharing. As far as the images go you had me standing by the lake house where I grew up, the storms back them had much biegger raindrops and more powerful to the touch as they fell from the darkened sky above. The lake caught each one and in doing so expanded making for the water to turn even colder at times. Though once wet it was like bath water, warm and inviting. Thanks for the memories too. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-12-03 17:36:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Marilyn,
Really interesting although limiting.
Rapidly I swing through your words
Realizing the depths one could go
Ruminating the ideals contained
Repeating the relentless
Ravishing of water upon your person.
Reclaim your peace
Rely only on yourself to
Reopen your wishes and dreams.
Ramblin rose.......Dellena
[fun]
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2006-11-16 01:59:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn,
Thank you for introducing us to another form of poetry. This poem is most enjoyable in form, I like the "R" sounds and where you've taken us on this picture perfect journey.
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2006-11-15 20:30:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Well, what would one call a poem whose each line started with a gerund?
A gerundingo? I did one, you know. You been messing around in the Encyclopedia
of Poetry and Poetics again. I'm going to take that away from you.
Accomplishing cadence, this device is anti-pedia but works. In "still standing"
you have the double entendre that cleverly allows a certain grace by intuitive
sharing an empathy of the wind's force instead of just a desription of it. Usually
something occuring only in higly developed writing.
"be-known" is a Middle-English construction that means acknowledged, not just known.
If you meant that, very clever of you. Have you read Chaucer?
Now a rainbow "light(ing) my weary way" is really novel. Can we condense that into
a lantern?
Enjoyed, as usual, my dear.
JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: stephen g skipper On Date: 2006-11-15 06:05:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Marilyn
Showing yet again my ignorance I havent seen this form of poetry before, but thank you for introducing it to me!
I really enjoyed the poem I dont know if it was your intent but I was put in mind of a statue standing above a lake forever surveying it in all its seasons.
Short and snappy, I like!!
take acre
steve x
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2006-11-13 20:19:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Marilyn,
Great of you to take on this type of a write. I imagine, it was more difficult in the making, to find the right words to use in the beginning of each line. I really like the way this turned out, each beginning word, makes the whole line stand out - a bold effect, placing emphasis in front of the rest of the line.
Not very familiar with this type of poetry, but I've got a lot to learn.
Thanks so much for sharing this, and teaching me, more about writing poetry.
Sincerely,
Denimari
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