This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2006-11-20 15:56:45 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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By Moon's Light Adrift in a sea of dreams
where viable thrives as air.
I may become as I dare.
Limitless are the options.
From the view I will too
anything I dream can be.
From all depths to apogee
possible is credible.
As the tides of earth change
by the lamplight of the moon
tides of life also transform
from the moonlight of my dreams.
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Copyright © November 2006 Dellena Rovito
This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2006-12-04 16:26:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I love the way this little poem is constructed Dellena. I read it a couple of times to really take it in.
I really like your word choices such as "viable thrives as air." very nice feel to the read in this one my friend..thanks for sharing.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2006-12-03 16:34:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Del my dear friend this is one beautiful poem and it touches my heart so. The form you used is super good; the words just blend one into another and wrap around one's heart the emotions are packed full.......
Even I can dream and still be who I want to be; ..........thank you for taking the time to post and care and most of all for sharing your God given talent with us. God bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2006-12-02 11:04:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
Dear Dellena,
You've outdone yourself with this write. I'm awakened inside, by your beautiful words in this poem.
By the title, I was expecting, a piece full of imagery of the moon, but this - has great depth, wisdom and
leaves the reader wanting to read more. It's more a of a learning lesson, on life - with the moon as the energy source, the base from where these thoughts emerge.
Last verse, my favorite - a real poetic statement that embraces the reader, takes them to a new level of thinking. Wow.
I find nothing, at all to change, and this was a welcome breath of fresh air, to start my day with today.
Peace & Blessings,
Denimari
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2006-11-28 15:58:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95000
Hi D....this is one of the most beautiful poems you have written! I love the form you used...it seems to fit the words very well and makes reading it fluid. My favorite (if I had to pick one) would be "From all depths to apogee possible is credible." Wonderful words that are seeping with emotion and passion. Very well done....keep them coming!
Cheers...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2006-11-21 12:54:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
Hi Dellena! I like the way your dreams (reaching) and the moon (sleeping) are metaphored. It's a tricky piece for me though. I had to read and read it again.
From the view I will too
anything I dream can be. ......sorry to say it, but I am confused
I think your ending is great. I love the last verse. From beginning to end, it is written as only a poet would write. It is a thoughtful work. I wish I could offer you more, as it deserves. I hope you get lots of readers, as I would enjoy seeing this through someone elses' eyes.
Keep looking forward and writing more, blessings, Ellen
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2006-11-20 18:02:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dellena, I really like the form. It’s rhymes have a comforting feeling and the form takes them and molds them to your theme.
By Moon's Light – you set the stage for the next view. “Moon’s Light has so many faceted images that it sets us up for the next step you will take. “By†is a revealing term that informs the reader that no revelation would occur, but with the “aura†of the moons light/comfort/inspiration, and more.
Adrift in a sea of dreams – (an absolute beautiful line, with so many connotations)
where viable thrives as air. (I like the inverted use of “viable†as a noun rather than an adjective)
I may become as I dare.
Limitless are the options. – The if/then resolution “limitless options†in those seas of dreams, viability- becoming as one dares.
From the view I will too – once again your rhymes make a special case for your theme.
anything I dream can be.
From all depths to apogee (splendid line, “to apogee†the apex, the consummation; and excellent descriptive line).
possible is credible. – Dellena; this has been such a powerful piece I am not sure I like “credible†in this line. Maybe a word like “palpable†or “plausible†lending just a little more to “possibilityâ€.
As the tides of earth change – wonderful line again, this is an excellent piece.
by the lamplight of the moon – here you take the “moons†guidance/light and amplify on the theme, with a poetic connotation; lamps can be turned on and off, and the implication would be that the moons light inspires the thoughts formed.
tides of life also transform - great line, great assonance
from the moonlight of my dreams.- your consummation on this piece is a splendid as the rest of this piece.
Dellena, I think if not your favorite of mine, it is pretty close to perfect. BRAVO!!
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