This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2007-01-11 21:04:22 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Lost Is To Found Why use our time unwisely or use this love for pain.
Neither heart beats kindly nor grows with love to gain.
Leaving is the beginning.
The doorway through loss is to found.
Should you leave me at this moment,
I'd let you go without a sound.
My heart will not bleed, my life will not end.
Our time together remembered and until then;
Why use our time unwisely or spend our lives in pain?
No victory in staying together with misery, tears and shame.
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Copyright © January 2007 DeniMari Z.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-01-23 19:29:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.72727
DeniMari,
This hits the nail on the head. "life is too short to waste time feeling loss.
It's to be acknowledged/worked through/let go.
Sounds great yes, does it work/sometimes.
Some dear to you people/you can't live with.
Yet they will always own a bit of you.
On/off up/down love/not it should all balance out.
Enjoyed your thought process.
Wishing you the best.
Dellena
I relate to you...
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-01-19 16:01:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Denimari...this poem has such a melancholy feel to it. It sounds like you are speaking to your husband or lover. Then I thought perhaps this was written for your mother and could well be interpeted as such except for the pain, tears, and most of all "shame." You may just be exploring your muse which is what I find myself doing of a lot of these days! With the exception of "leaving is the beginning and should you leave me at this moment" you have perfect end rhymes throughout. You have employed good words choices and the flow is even. Did you realize two more lines and a little tweaking you could make this a sonnet? I enjoyed this poem....well done.
Blessings....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-01-12 17:09:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
The closing of one door and the opening of another....life is filled with many roads and choices poet and it seems to me you have thought deeply about the words which bring to life this poem. To live, breathe and to love we need to be free of all pain and sorrow that will continue to pull one down .........you have said it all. Thank you for posting and sharing; God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-01-12 12:50:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Denimari,
So telling, the depth of your offering banters the ying-yang of life, the eternal struggle to cope and rise above. I believe you've found your own way to deal with what is dealt you; you have a fine gift in your telling and reasoning, through all you tell to persevere and one will triumph. You have taken simple truths and put a face on them, this reader comes away with a deeper appreciation of trials and triumphs even those that aren't seen so easily/clearly for what they are. Thank you for a faith building inspirational offering.
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2007-01-12 08:18:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
DeniMari,
How painfully beautiful this is, my friend. Filled with such stark truths, and honest raw emotions. Leaving is, indeed, just another fresh start. Whether it be leaving a relationship, or leaving this life behind. Love the depth of thought this short but succinct and poignant poem evokes. Since the accident, I have "reevaluated" so much in my life. This one really hit home for me, DeniMari. So very well stated, and very well done. No unneeded jargon, just the honest truth. Brava!
Warmest,
Mary
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