This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2007-02-21 08:11:17 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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A friendship book

Diane had waited for ever (she thought: "as midnight chlorophyll  for sun!") to return, for a time, to the university class where that boy first saw her. There was a star of David lodged deep in his eye; his sight triangulated her; and that was that: children, squeezed out by the great cramp of years, set their jarring portions at rest. Yet it was merely dynamics and lights and fires she recalled, as if convection would not work with cold, as if words were mere ways to lie, or, for lovers, friendship were some disease.

Copyright © February 2007 Mark Andrew Hislop


This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-03-04 18:44:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77273
Love the concept of having your partner also be your best friend........enjoyed this read very much, enjoyed the emotions it set forth and the images it created from the flare of your pen. Certainly after due consideration I must agree with the last line that for some friendship were some disease. Thanks for posting and sharing, God Bless, Claire


This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2007-03-04 15:13:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Mark, and extremely interesting piece. The duality you use in many of the words makes me look beyond your verse to other incidental meanings; "cramp of years", "jarring portions", "convection", and other word plays. As it seems; she went to college, met a Jewish man, fell in love, became a mother and wife, and somewhere along the line the love affair ended badly- and finally she returns to finish her degree. There is a twist of passions throughout this piece, and, at least for me- I was caught in its web. Excellent.
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-02-28 18:14:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86667
Hi amrk...I don't know if your intention was to write a very sensual poem but this one speaks to me in that manner...probably just me. Could it be the line....convection would not work with cold? I don't know why a man/woman relationship can't be just on a friendly basis...but I know it can't. I found that out when I started dating after my husband passed away. I see you are speaking with your 'new voice' and I rather like the change. It still has the 'Hislop' style but it is different and very enjoyable. Glad to see you writing again no matter what voice you use. Mazza
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2007-02-22 14:29:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
MAH, I have a black hole in my hazel eye that has swallowed my brain. You're getting all worked up like Robert Lowell under the spell of Caroline Blackwood. No - I could understand that. But this? Love ya, MSS
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