This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-03-09 14:41:14 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Not Particular Winter’s dirge stretched
tight across a blank sky
and snow wrapped around
suffocated light.
Birds tangled in nests
their voice silenced by frost.
Clouds spotless and flake laden,
hanging, waiting to slip in cordoned air,
but sun stares until they flit
like in a dream.
Gleams of light gild bright puddles
Loosened are edges of icy streams
as quiet waters pulse and crawl below.
A lone robin struts on spindles for legs
and grooms his sienna tufts.
Tips of tulips mouth their spring kiss
as sun softens winter’s long robes of snow.
Heaven glances and winds warble in
pitch nearly perfect.
There is pure exhilaration when springs flares,
even if it’s not particular at all.
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Copyright © March 2007 marilyn terwilleger
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-03-26 19:18:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn,
Not particular at all! Wrong!
To have a flower pop up and open is cause for celibration of new beginnings.
I think we are so use to wonderful/magical growing things we treat them as nothing in particular!
If not for the wild outdoor life what we view and wonder and celebrate?
Your poem is lovely except for the title thought!
I know you value the spring life by your lovely images put to pen.
Maybe I'm thinking off the mark. probably......
love your work.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2007-03-14 11:09:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Marilyn,
I've visited this poem before today - this is maybe my third read. I truly find it stunning. I can sense an expert rider with her hands tight on the reins, controlling a power that is uncontrollable. You've managed to confront and capture a force far beyond us in these words.
I can't imagine coming across another poem this month here that exceeds this - unless Hislop's Muse gives him a big wet one; or Horak hits his head on a log and has a vision; or Tony S catches a good wave; or Coffman blinks in a sudden flash; or Wright, Spinoza or Dixon pay a visit with newly picked laurels . . .
Our finest would have to come with the best of their good game to match this.
Bravo,
MSS
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-03-14 02:05:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
To me Spring is the beginning of the cycle of life for the earth as it does come to life. Totally agree that it is not particular at all in its birthing either. Love to watch a tree as it begins to bud as it then begins to grow leaves as it turns into a beautiful Maple tree just waiting for the birds to return to its branches......Loosened are edges of icy streams
as quiet waters pulse and crawl below.
A lone robin struts on spindles for legs
and grooms his sienna tufts.
Tips of tulips mouth their spring kiss
as sun softens winter’s long robes of snow.
Heaven glances and winds warble in
pitch nearly perfect.
Your words bring forth such wonderful images and I can see them all from the front porch. What can I say other then wonderfully done. Thank you for posting and sharing once again. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-03-10 21:16:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn,
Wonderful transitions in your write, just perfect befitting your subject matter...your poem moves like winter to spring. I found that your opening drew me in to read more, wanting to discover where you were headed with this write and the connection to the title...was definitely not disappointed. I especially liked:
A lone robin struts on spindles for legs
and grooms his sienna tufts.
Tips of tulips mouth their spring kiss
as sun softens winter’s long robes of snow
these were the lines that transitioned for me...
your closing was just the right touch to this picturesque offering.
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: charles r pitts On Date: 2007-03-10 03:07:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
the last line is my favorite in this one. its simple and direct on first read, but lends itself to such contemplation if desired. very pleasant, very graphic but in a subtle, comfortable manner. you rock mt.
charlie
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2007-03-09 18:37:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Marilyn,
I read this poem, early this morning before I went to work, and it was such a nice way to start my day.
I may have said this before, but I will again, that I've been reading your poems for quite awhile now, and you have perfected your style of writing. You claim, nature in your words because you have the ability
to see things others can't. It's truly an amazing talent, and you should feel proud of it. The imaginative,
way you form lines so others can feel the poem, really get into each piece is what I hope to learn someday.
Bravo on this post - some of my favorite parts are:
snow wrapped around
suffocated light. - great imagery here.
Birds tangled in nests
their voice silenced by frost. - an intense line, that creates imagery/and empathy for the birds.
Oh the 3rd verse is just wonderful.......
as sun softens winter’s long robes of snow. - great combination, more good imagery
The ending is a little bittersweet. It may just be ordinary to some, but to you - and your keen senses,
it's completely exhilarating.
Very good write, and best of luck this month.
sincerely,
Denimari
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