This Poem was Submitted By: charles r pitts On Date: 2007-03-10 03:23:54 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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lost

roads that lead me in circles to dead ends, one-way streets going nowhere i drift listlessly, restless, careless as the wind blows without direction, without destination, without purpose or meaning. people i meet are like shadows.  formless, faceless, ever-changing.  they guide me, use me, hurt me with careless words and thoughtless acts.  somehow, they are able to thrive in this world through malice, deceit, ignorance.  this world where honor, integrity,  and truth are flaws, weaknesses, and faults. where compassion, concern, and tolerance invite greed, hatred, and violence. trust is guarded, hope is stifled, and all that is taught as truth is a lie. this is life?

Copyright © March 2007 charles r pitts

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-04-07 17:51:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92857
Charles, This is very good although a bit upsetting. You put into words all the flaws of man. We treat each other as oponents rather than allies. Mans inhumanity to man seems to thrive as todays theme. I believe we havebeen fed an unimaginal amountof lies. Ive lived long enough to finally see a bit ofthe outright deceit. I like your verbage. direction-less/no destination/no purpose. Trust has to be guarded, hope is smashed, life is lessened. I believe with such evil about we all must be watchful and leary. hopefully times will improve. You're poem had an energy of it's own. It helped me experience your thought. Very good poem Charles. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-04-07 17:08:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76190
Interesting poet, you know they say life is what we make of it and the roads we might take are endless....yet they are of our free choosing so it goes..........I do agree with what you say though the world would be a better place with so much less of the hatred in it. Thanks for posting, take good care, good luck in the contest....God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2007-04-07 08:56:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
charles yep. this is life. sucks but hey. mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2007-03-18 12:53:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Charles, This is a really depressing poem - the reader can feel the hopelessness, the mere existence of someone, that has no motivation to continue on in life. Yes, this is life - but there is a power within you, to see it differently - in an attempt to take your mind off of the negative in life. I believe we all feel this way, at some point in time, some are clear to articulate the feeling as you have here, and some hide their emotion within themselves. There's a huge self-esteem issue written in these lines, from someone, who has lived as a target - a sucker to others, and has been made to feel this way about themselves. I'd send you a miracle cure for it, if I had one, but I don't, so all I can offer you, is peace and that you find a way to feel it in your life. Good write, sincerely, Denimari
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-03-10 11:37:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi charlie....you could not have chosen a better title for this poem. I think the fact that you wrote it entirely in lower case, without concern for caps, when a new sentence or thought begins, is significant. In my mind it speaks of some depression and a "what the hell" kind of attitude. It also speaks of a lack of self worth which I find to be so sad. The narrator finds nothing in life that has any merit and therefore is drifting on a sea of hopelessness. When I first read this piece I was put off by the lack of concern for puctuation but after a couple of reads I decided there was no other way to write down these thoughts and make them memorable to the readers. There are poems that come and go without ever being remembered, which to me is a sign of mediocre writing. However, I do believe this one will stay in the minds of all who read it. You have employed good word choices for the theme. It is well written and evocative....well done! cheers....Mariyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2007-03-10 09:10:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mr. Pitts, in poetry form should be selected to enhance either a poem's meaning, image, or to mirror, in itself, something about the historical relationship of the poet to another, so well know in the past as to secure meaning. Yours qualifies on the first two counts and, to some degree, on the third. "Lost" as the first person is here, the poem reflects that state of mind in the wondering between statement and question, between deciding on stanza and/or one long run-on sentence. Capturing the mood appropriate, "as the wind blows without direction" (superb contradiction,) the poem weaves in and out of direct charge upon societal ill and the philosophical questioning, in the end, to find some salvaging value left. In perspective interpretation, you have presented the reader, sort of, a suicide note. Almost an inarguable one. For each reader that approaches your poem is challenged to reconstruct value to living and in so doing, either passing the litmus test of self-examination or failing...growth or fail-safe unthinkingness, dismissing the rampant truth here like some pot hole that jarred their car without damaging it. Walking away wondering just what put you in such a fouled up mood. They have to, to keep from succumbing...now, don't they? But maybe wiser. We can only hope. JCH
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