This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-03-21 23:01:38 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Springing

Deep cold is gone the days come warm  the birds swoop dance in perfect form. The sun shines rays of better days.  Life renews its growing phase. Bursting buds come into being,  leaves unfurl in foliage greens. I dance with wind undisciplined, I'd choose a flower as my twin. Regarding life with much revere, close to heart I hold Earth dear.

Copyright © March 2007 Dellena Rovito


This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-04-04 15:27:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
Hi D....this poem just makes me long for Spring all the more....I don't think it is even 50 here today (ugh) I love the image of birds swooping and dancing in perfect form. Also 'leaves unfurl in foliage greens' evokes another good image. "I dance with wind undisciplined" is my favorite. There is something so cavalier about that line. Good poem with great images! cheers....Marilyn


This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2007-03-23 18:08:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Extremely good metric count, lines turned well, not forced, subtle assonance (foliage greens/undisciplined,) and an interesting use of poetic license with the last two lines (revere instead of reverence.) All well done and a good contrast with your other poem I just critiqued, Bauble Less. The first two lines and the last two lines are poetically the best and work well together, as a warm opening of a poem to Spring and (the last) the value of it to you. A lovely poem, Dellena. JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2007-03-22 23:36:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Sweet!Thats a great way to feel about spring-ing.... Deep cold is gone the days come warm ....poetic but not real helpful swoop dance --I wish I could do that! I like these words and pictures. They feel joyful. The sun shines rays of better days. ...catchy little phrase! Bursting buds and foliage greens. Lovely pictures! And my very favorite line (I wish it were mine!) I dance with wind undisciplined, I'd choose a flower as my twin. awe....... close to heart I hold Earth dear......I don't like this line. It's 'forced' or turned around to make it rhyme and make sense. I think if you turned those lines around again it would read something like this: Close to my heart I hold Earth dear regaurding life with much revere Just a thought. Lately my thoughts haven't been so clear, but I hope I'm makeing sense now! I enjoyed this very much. It's completely delightful! I was intrigued to read because of the catchy title. Great choice!!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-03-22 08:45:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
So beautiful and so full of new life......love the form, great rhyme, words bring forth each new beginning. Spring is my most favorite time of the year for the reasons you state above.....a sleeping world comes to life and all is new and hopefully right with our world. My niece sent photos via email of their burst of Spring time in Arkansas and I am so jealous....we still have snow on the ground that needs melting in order to see new life come bursting forth. Thanks for posting and for being my friend. God Bless, Claire
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