This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2007-04-19 03:11:39 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Trigger Man Oh, Unholy hellish day
Blood is smeared through a torrent of tears
Under the sun he stalks with a gun
Black filled spirit angry beast
Plots a merciless killing spree
Oh, Damn the deed and innocence gone
Pray for tepid souls determined to go on
Favor the families feeling these deaths
Children denied assured essence of breath
Oh, man has prepared for his hell to see
To hell he should burn unchangingly |
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Copyright © April 2007 DeniMari Z.
Additional Notes:
Tribute to Virginia Tech students killed needlessly.
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-04-27 01:25:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.58824
Hi Deni....it is impossible to imagine what goes on in a person's head that allows them to commit such horrible acts. You have done an excellent job of telling of this horror. I especially like....blood is smeared through a torrent of tears....as I watched the news coverage of this event I tried to imagine the fear and anguish those students went through. I guess all we can do is pray for them to eventually find peace and be able to live with their memories. Well done.
blessings...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-04-21 14:59:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Deni,
I applaud you for such caring and fine tribute. One hopes that recent events aren't to be burned in the mind forever, that somewhere there is solace for those who've suffered this evil. Well done.
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2007-04-20 10:58:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Assuredly. One of but other beasts among us. What sits in all pomp and
circumstance creating and directing war, lying and teaching our childredn to
have less and less faith in what their parents remonstrate...well, hardly
"another matter". By whatever hand, equally visiting upon the innocent,
our misdeeds come home. But, of course, this is not politically expedient
to discuss in broader terms. So we view this aberration in purely isolated
terms. But is it, and the other atrocities we've encountered here, unconnected?
Regardless, your poem visits the horror and finds it ultimately senseless and
hellish, which it is.
I would change, "unchangingly" to unceaselessly. Perhaps just a personal
preference. I don't like "tepid souls". Tepid is not a word I would apply to
anything spiritual. But then again, ladies present prevents me from the words
I would instinctively use for this baby monster and his dark seed bed
of an administration we now live under. (Recalling Raskolnikov's rationlizing
for murder in, Crime and Punishment.)
JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-04-19 12:18:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.93333
What can one say to such a horrible situation, the needless deaths, the hearts broken beyond rapair .....One is too many and this figure is unthinkable. Your words have presented it all, God Bless, Claire
My prayers join yours for these souls and for the families left behind.
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