This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2007-05-10 18:39:06 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Stone When you are given
this lonely task
you are bound to ask
if a stone knows heaven
and if you are a stone:
the boulders nearby
seem closer to the sky
and, surely, more alone. |
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Copyright © May 2007 Mark Andrew Hislop
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-06-07 01:19:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.91304
Mark,
No nits here. For me this piece is very reflective, zen like as if almost asking the question "what is the meaning of life" which of course has as many answers as those who'd ask the question...to each it is a different answer. I truly hope you are finding the strength that you require to carry on your quest/task and that even in the aloness you know that you are really not alone... My favorite lines in this are: if you are a stone:
the boulders nearby
seem closer to the sky
and, surely, more alone
and there is always something more, something that seems more daunting, more unatainable. I've enjoyed this easy flowing piece and must ponder it much more, several more reads to glean true meaning and texture. Thank you for such an offering.
Best always,
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2007-06-06 14:47:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Well, perhaps we are, "stones". Our perceptions only that, a running stream of
choreographed experience, wholly fictitious...to some far more dimensional animate
realm. While the lords and shakers sit atop throne extensions of themselves all
actually only bigger lumps of silicate.
The device employed here takes a good sound hit at popular perception, possible
succeeding in knocking it around just a bit to see positional irony and the
actually frail underpinnings of our beliefs.
Your poem has the whimsical structure appropriate with well turned lines, brusque
inversion and not overly contrived rhyme. Highly reminiscent of Ogden Nash, Don
Marquis and Lord Dunsany.
But mostly, enjoyable.
JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-06-04 00:57:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mark,
And mountains have presence. Standing below, looking up, you can feel it!
And when I gather or move a stone; I ask it what it wants.
Mark, everything is alive! Whatever radiates energy is alive.
Just something different to tickle your senses.
LOVE YOUR POEM, I love rocks!
We all are alone to a degree.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-05-16 07:59:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Well poet here my imagination brings me to mom and dad's special place where a stone does sit holding their names and dates.........if I could I would tear it down and let them be free......for they are no longer in the ground they soared the first day their breath ceased to be..........I know of a young brother who just lost his baby brother and he fell apart when he first saw the stone at the cemetery......some journeys are harder for some then others. Thanks for posting, for the thoughts this one provided. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2007-05-16 00:22:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
MAH,
I like this one too. But the Romantic in me shies away from the school of wit.
MSS
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2007-05-14 19:36:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mark, I saw much ambiguity in this piece. For me, in the reading, it spoke to questions that often cropped up with me as I looked at my father's grave.
I desired more than the stone- if I was only rich enough for a masaleum.
The sky always overlooks the natural and the passing. Closer to the sky; but not alone- at least for me you responded;
The stone has good company.
I may have missed your assertions; but you did not miss mine.
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-05-11 16:45:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mark....hummmm and what lonely task would that be? The task of simply being a stone or perhaps feeling like one is made of stone and therefore is lonely beyond comparison? I know there is a profound meaning to your words, I have read this numerous times trying to glean that meaning but then I am just having a non-brillant day or even an inspired one. This is so thought provoking that it will ruin my entire day! So dare ya go and I refuse to critique another one of your poems until you do the same to one of mine! I'm just kidding I know you are busy or you would be more active here. Anyway, I am pleased that you pop in from time to time.
Hugs....Mazza
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