This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-06-13 11:00:09 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Reflection

Charcoal dark clouds approach       preparing their relentless outburst unyielding rain will soon replace       the solid brown turf beneath these feet Lighted signs offer a recluse        to hide away the fear brightened lives inside          concealing the tears Yet motivation lost         nothing to gain lack any feeling         no sense of pain Stationary watching         red lights and green no movement forward          unable to sing Voice lost its passion           can’t make a sound unable to hear            craft a ghost town Now drenched with a deluge         thoughts soon, will get clear Enter cantina         then go through a mirror

Copyright © June 2007 Thomas H. Smihula


This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-07-05 07:30:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
good morning poet; nice write , metaphors allowing each reader to go where they want with this one for each one's mind has different hiding places; I have my own as I am sure you have yours. Red lights and green brings forth images of my little grandson as we are stopped in traffic. As soon as the green light comes on he yells .....GO......like sitting still was long enough.......thanks for posting, will check this one out on the voting list for sure......God Bless, Claire


This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-07-02 16:09:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.78571
Thomas, I feel like I was right with you in my thought. At times we all feel that nothingness/emptiness. And we enter the cantina/and slip away into the land of getting away. I think at times it is difficult to face the gray of days, the ups and downs. But it is possable to gain from either. I think this 'boredom' drives people to drugs or drink. We can't always be thrilled with living. I think your poem shows the down side clearly. Good wording/drenched/drenched/unyielding/relentless Going through the mirror was very thoughtful. Good job! Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-06-15 12:17:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Thomas, Nice introspective write, your metophors leads the reader deep inside the complexities of the mind while in the end each person has to come to their own conclusions, nothing lost, nothing gained; who will dare to look into the mirror. Well done, kudos. Most enjoyable--not nits nor suggestions. Best always, Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2007-06-13 16:52:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
A highly interesting poem that uses the parallelism of mood and circumstance to create full circle the beginning with the end. Multi-dimensional, this device enhances the oddity of never feeling more alone than in a crowd. The euphemism made of rain, coming to, "...drenched with a deluge" places the reader squarely in the drama, "craft(ing?) a ghost town" and hearkens well the Victorians' belief that another dimension does lie "through a mirror". "Enter cantina/then go through a mirror" observes a gifted rhyme scheme whose originality is impressive. A successful poem that can touch its reader hauntingly. JCH
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