This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-07-03 09:23:18 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Looking Back Picture in hand
a reflection of a moment caught
The smile, the pride
seen as the joy of living
Bundle of one, so precious
so small, yet so grand
Beaming with full life
silhouettes overlook this package
The surroundings bringing back
memories so fond they have lived a lifetime
The picture although discolored still
holds it original tapestry, interwoven into the mind
embodying the quality of the perfect state within…
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Copyright © July 2007 Thomas H. Smihula
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-08-07 17:21:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.82353
Hi Thomas....this poem is full of emotion. It reminds me of when I find an old picture of one of my children or all three and the memories that flood my being. What is more perfect than a child. "memories so fond they have lived a lifetime"...such a true and poignant statement. Those memories will linger with us forever...thank heavens, as we age, our long term memory is our brightest. Wonderful poem...well written with wonderful word choices. Well done.
Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2007-08-04 23:46:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
Hi Thomas,
Memories, caught in time, through the indestructible tapestry, ..."interwoven into the mind....".
I loved the ending, powerful, packed with a punch and full of emotion.
If I had one suggestion to help enhance the piece, it would be for the beginning of the poem - " picture on hand, reflection of a moment caught"....this might harbor on the cliche and is inconsistent with the originality of the end.
A piece with potential.
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-07-14 19:41:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Thomas,
Wow yours is about a snapshot too!
How wild is that?
I like your ending.......The picture although discolored still
holds it original tapestry, interwoven into the mind
embodying the quality of the perfect state within…
The subject matter the same but still different.
I'm amazed we must be on the same wave length!
Hope your not upset!
good job/good subject ...ho!
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2007-07-14 12:55:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Although the series of recollections is stimulated by a photo here,
the empathic memory shown is not necessary to stimultion for recall.
As an example the entirety of aboriginal history (Australian
and African) is locked well into a memory that can only be described
as serial with time.
For this reason I feel your last line, "embodying the quality of the
perfect state within" is truely in reference to far more than one
little plug of thought upon one moment in time...at a time, but
organic. In separating what we deem actual from what we deem
imaginary, never is there perfection...the anomalies crop up almost
like an intellectual rebuke.
To have "perfection" one must grow beyond the limitations we impose
upon such separation. So that we in no way lie, one half our
consciousness to the other.
Then we can "actually" interweave into such things as tapestry,
simply by not relegating one thing to another to decide our
shoulds and shouldn'ts. For the texture of the mind breaks thread
with doubt. While all noble truths fall through the gap that
creates.
JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-07-08 18:37:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Thomas,
What a nicely painted scene of the rememberance of loved ones and their bundle (obviously must be a birth occation". Soft and pictoral, almost like a Rockwell painting. Very pleasant read and enjoyable metephoric visages. Such a treasure to have these sentiments at the view of a photo/picture. Thank you for sharing with us.
Best always,
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2007-07-08 14:58:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I really like this Thomas..I think perhaps my last poem "Dad" which you critiqued might have inspired you to write this poem in the same subject, but with a much more loving and happy purpose in mind. I could invision this photo, looked upon with such devotion and beautiful sweet memories..you brought life to your recolection ..smiling still after all these years as you state in this last part of your write..The surroundings bringing back
"memories so fond they have lived a lifetime
The picture although discolored still
holds it original tapestry, interwoven into the mind
embodying the quality of the perfect state within…" and with your words " although discolored still holds the original tapestry' says so much of the things that really matter in life..love and relationships and tokens of that , that always become the most valuable over time. This image, one that will never cease to take you back and make your soul smile.
really enjoyed this write..I think this could be a topic that could become a collection of poems based on the pictures from our lives and all the emotions that could conguer up ehh!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-07-05 02:52:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
All I can say is thank the good Lord someone invented the camera to capture those very special moments in all our lives; ones that are stored within the lining of our hearts and ready to burst forth when the albums come out or the family gets together and reminices. Indeed this one does just that...........your words bring forth that very special child, and the love and pride of the parent/grandparents/etc. Thanks for posting, God Bless and good luck with this months contest, Claire
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