This Poem was Submitted By: Jana Buck Hanks On Date: 2007-07-23 16:55:39 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Angel

Coming home we travel a tiny black velvet ribbon dotted with small twinkling red lights.  My eyes shift from intense sun light to the hot pink sun set in the west.  Clouds move and blend above the silvery blue sky, forming a perfect dove gray face set in shadows of pre-night.  Breath-wind blows the feathered spread wings spanning the horizon. Touched with gun metal gray, clouds  shift aimlessly to form the fullness of the gown  of a perfect Angel  high in the horizon. Capped by the cresent moon He rides twilight supreme.

Copyright © July 2007 Jana Buck Hanks


This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-08-07 10:03:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84615
Jana, To capture a feeling and presense is difficult in poetry and you have done it here. What I like most is the blending of the stanza's that force to reader to continue on to the end. It is a nice transition and the presentation appealing. The visions you give are almost that of a dream. I enjoyed reading this. Well done. Thomas


This Poem was Critiqued By: Debbie Spicer On Date: 2007-07-30 00:04:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Jana, I have been gone for SO long and had this strong urge to go to the link and be home again. You, as always, have impressed me so much with your poetry that anytime I ever found one of yours, I always have stopped to read it and take it in. I can see an angel, as I am truly in to them, traveling on a velvet ribbon, with twinkling (as the sparkle brightens up the sky). The mystical and beautiful way you express these, are beyond me. The sun with it’s “hot” pink sunset, to only have seen one of these expresses it all. The clouds give the sunset the glory we all see. The way you can illuminate the dove in the pre-night shadows, gives me chills. Feathers, another description of glory, expand one to view a wonder we don’t see and appreciate each day. As the clouds take their shape, we can all see the reality of life. My life is filled with dark clouds, and the angels that glitter, bring me life. What a wonderful poem, which brings sunshine into my life. Thank you for inspiring me, one again. With love, Debbie
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-07-27 01:28:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Jana, This is very nice. Spiritual but not pushing God. This could be a dream, although mos likely not. The skys lead you into a hopeful promise. You had a remarkable experience/a touch of grace. Someone had to be at that place at that moment for an angel to appear in the heavens. And you told of it well. And you shared your grace with others. In our troubled world, we need beauty like this! Being and living love is all that will save us. Bless you.....an emotional, quietly moving piece. Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2007-07-24 09:32:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.93750
oh Jana so beautiful.I could picture your experience so well..vividly written. I have so many times be in captured by the colours of our wondrous Earth and heavens and the awe of it all is overwhelming, which brings this to be such a spiritual piece. No matter if you or what you believe God to be, universal in feel and something that we have all experienced.You have also captured the movement for this piece in your well chosen scenes such as.. " My eyes shift from intense sun light to the hot pink sun set in the west. Clouds move and blend above the silvery blue sky" one is put right in that car with you. and here as well "Breath-wind blows the feathered spread wings" Your ending couplet at the end is striking , and oh what a vision to be left with. "Capped by the crescent moon He rides twilight supreme." nicely done Jana from one who really appreciates descriptive and spiritual writing, you have a beauty here. oh I almost forgot, your spelling of "cresent" is incorrect according to "spellcheck"..I am terrible at spelling and would not have picked that up had I not used spellcheck to check this critique out before sending it to you..LOL..there is a "c" in the middle of it.. Nancy
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-07-23 20:42:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Jana, Such delicious images have you created with your discriptive verbiage. Your easy flowing lines lend to the almost dream like scenario, an ambrosia for the spirit and senses. No nits here, a most enjoyable read. I can not single out one line/s I preferred from the others for it is the whole that took my fancy. Thank you for offering this for our pleasure. Best always, Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-07-23 18:02:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81818
Hi Jana...I have been riding in a car and seen the very sights you so poectically describe. You have written such lovely images that I felt as if I were sitting beside you watching this glorious scene unfold. You have written some good enjambments throughout which give the poem depth. I love the image of "fullness of the gown of a perfect Angel high in the horizon"....just wonderful. Then your last two lines lend the perfect ending to a poem that is well written and a joy to read. Nice to read your work and hope to do it again soon. Brava.... Blessings....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-07-23 17:29:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
What a majestic sight you have painted with the flare of your pen Jana.......it must have been beautiful to watch this take form right before your eyes.......your words simply flow; my mom would have been outside sitting under the shade of a tree watching the clouds roll by and she would have been so excited to see this happening. You have brought this Angel for all to see; super job; God Bless, Claire
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